Project Runway 8/30/12--"Oh My Lord and Taylor" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the “real women” challenge produced mixed results. There’s always one designer who can’t handle designing for non-models, and this season that is Ven. However, he’s much more of an asshat than anyone has ever been, talking about how it was unfair he got the fat girl and going on and on about how none of the belts fit her. And then getting on Twitter and complaining they gave him a fat girl on purpose. They probably did. I would bet they gave one to Gunnar too but he instantly went into Carson Kressley mode and was fine. Fabio won, and his dress was cute, and Nathan made the dress his client wanted so he lost. That is how it always works too.

P.S. whoever is spamming me with comments about the Hopper, or whatever DVR thing it is, I guess good for you that you watch the shows (or your bot is good enough to make coherent sentences), but please go away.

              

Chris is sad Nathan’s gone, but also hopes that he’ll be in an apartment by himself soon. Sonjia declares that men design clothes they want to see women in, while women design clothes that women WANT to wear. But then how do you account for gay male designers?

             

Heidi comes out and gives Chris shit for having dark circles under his eyes. She totally calls him out, it’s hilarious. Field trip to Fifth Avenue! They go to Lord & Taylor, which is a department store if you do not have them. West coast doesn’t have those. They’re kind of inbetween Macy’s and Nordstrom, in terms of style and cost and so forth. Tim introduces them to the president and they show off nine mannequins. Each one has a look that has been designed from a previous Project Runway designer, one from each season. They seem nice, all dresses. Jay is in there, as is Mondo, Nick, Bert. The challenge is to make a dress to go with this capsule collection, because the winning design will become part of the collection, to be sold in stores. That is a damn good prize. Plus they’ll put the dress in the window of the flagship store. It’s a good prize for the previous designers too. The Lord & Taylor customer is fashionable and has good taste. Heh. The dress has to have a retail price between $200 and $300. Oh, weird, Uli’s dress is short and brown and tailored. Huh. Tim points out to them that these dresses are simple, so they can be mass produced easily. One day, but no budget. The manufacturer is providing them with the fabrics and notions.

             

Gunnar says everything has a “classy edge” and that is right up his alley. He’s not copying Jay, exactly, but he’s matching that one. Chris wants to stand out with a gown. Never has he resembled Michael Costello more. In confessional he’s all “I’m going to make the best gown ever! …I sound like a tool.” Heh. Dmitry thinks no one can make a dress that doesn’t hide behind ruffles. Elena wants clean and sleek but with texture. Sonjia seems to be kind of lost. Chris talks some more about how great he is.

            

 There are bolts of fabric all over the lounge in Parsons. Chris is shredding fabric, like he’s done before. Fabio makes a frowny noise. Melissa had wanted to use fabric no one else was using. It seems as though she gives some black to Ven. Elena says she’s having trouble making Lord & Taylor clothes, and her brain doesn’t work like this. She’s on simmer right now.

            

 Everyone talks about how great it would be to win this challenge. Gunnar is still talking about what he’s doing, and Chris is bragging that he’s making such a pretty gown and it’s awesome. Sonjia’s poor performance the last challenge is screwing with her brain and she’s worrying about everything. Alicia is excited about her low waist, even though she doesn’t think the judges will like it. Sonjia talks to herself: “OK, Sonjia, you gotta stay in the game, knock one of these guys out first OH HEY DMITRY.” Hee. Ven claims to be thinking about the customers. I think he’s making a rose top again. Elena makes a weird announcement at Gunnar that the last few challenges seem to have been written for him. Huh? I think we’re at a full boil, folks. She says the judges don’t understand her because she hasn’t been in the top and it’s annoying. She and Gunnar talk about editing and how she doesn’t want to edit herself down too much. Melissa says she wanted a hardware store challenge. Nice. Sonjia thinks the men are all making girly clothes. Ven says men are stronger designers, and women are more practical. Shut up, Ven. Chris is doing the shredding thing again but magically it’s going to be different this time?

           

Tim time! He loves Gunnar’s dress. He’s putting pieces of sequined fabric and freaking Tim out. I’m not sure. Alicia has a box pleat right in front of the skirt. Tim says “Joan of Arc”, which Alicia takes as a complement. Sonjia admits she’s in a funk. Tim: “If you’re trying to channel those judges, you’ll work yourself into a psychotic breakdown.” Ha! Fabio wants a visible zipper…ugh. Elena has some cut-outs? There’s an open back and then cut-outs. Tim warns her that it’s too expensive to produce. Elena breaks down and says she designs upscale garments that aren’t mass market. Tim says to think about a bridge line and translate her designs down. He really does not react to her tears. Elena interviews that it took her a very long time to make herself how she is now and you can’t compare her stuff to anything you’ve seen before and how can she always be in the bottom and unnoticed? What? Take a deep breath. Out in the hallway Elena cries to Gunnar that she can’t take her designs down any further because they already suck. Gunnar tries to cheer her up which seems slightly successful. Ven has a rose again. Everyone says mean things. Dmitry has vertical strips and gets a good review. Chris has light dusty rose and black, which I don’t think go together as well as he thinks. How are they going to produce the shredding effect? Tim brings up a good point. Melissa has a stand-up collar, but her fabric will show every seam. She may have to pick out a new fabric, but she doesn’t want to use black and the colors are all silk, so they won’t stand up.

             

Melissa doesn’t know what to do, because she thinks everyone is wearing black and she wants to stand out. Gunnar tells Fabio he wants to make him a dress. OK. Model fitting. Melissa’s model loves the fabric, so she’s going to go with it. Gunnar is thrilled, as is Fabio. Alicia still doesn’t care if no one likes her dress. Melissa is discovering her dress doesn’t sit right, so she’s going to have to make a new one. She’s freaking out, but more quietly than Elena’s usual freakouts.

             

At the apartments the girls don’t seem very happy about anything. Melissa looks terrible, poor thing.

            

 Fabio is wearing a crown of flowers. Really. Tim notes how quiet the room is, gives them two hours, and points out the accessory wall is important. Gunnar brags that he’s done. Elena has put a weird racerback vest or something on her dress. Chris is like “Who puts a harness on a babydoll dress? I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it…I don’t like her.” Sonjia and Melissa are both freaking out now. For real, Fabio has a flower crown, a white T-shirt, and high-waisted pleated gray harem pants. Hot makeup guy. Tim comes in with the 10 minute warning and people are still not done. Sonjia is in tears and completely loses it. Like, her model is having a hard time getting the dress on and she is head in hands on the workbench sobbing. As Tim is gathering them, Sonjia and Melissa are sewing and cutting hems, respectively. Tim actually takes Sonjia aside and says she looks good and it’s all right and it’ll be fine. Aww.

             

Guest judge is Bonnie Brooks, president of Lord & Taylor. Fabio: black dress with asymmetrical hem, almost a fishtail. Sleeveless. High neck. Are there details? I can’t tell. It’s nice though. Except for the exposed zipper, forgot about that. Melissa: tight sheath in bronze brocade, with a mullet hem and a tall collar. The top of the dress stands up and covers her chest. Maybe it’s a fishtail hem and not a full mullet, it seems asymmetrical too. Her model is walking very carefully. Gunnar: short black dress, covered in sequins, with a strapless neckline that is then covered with black lace to make a crew neck top with short sleeves. It’s cute. Elena: black pleather, or at least shiny fabric, with a full skirt. The top is a basic sleeveless boatneck, but then there is a vertical piece that goes over her chest and around the back? Like a vest but one piece in the front. I don’t know. Chris: long black skirt and short-sleeved pink top. The top is supposed to have a shredded effect but it just looks vaguely striped, and it’s pretty close to her skin color. There is a raggedy keyhole in the back. Alicia: black dress with a box pleat in front and a stand up collar. The inside of the pleat is shiny. The back doesn’t match up though. Sonjia: black tank dress with a gray peplum. The hem doesn’t look quite done, although it doesn’t look horrible. But it looks bad enough that you would take a closer look, which isn’t good. Ven: black sheath dress with a rose on the bodice. Dmitry: gray sheath dress with vertical seams. It looks great and I like the seams. They’re unusual and I bet everyone will think they’re slimming.

             

Ven, Dmitry, and Sonjia are safe. Aww, Dmitry is safe? Lame. Sonjia is thrilled, while Dmitry is pissed. I agree. Ven reveals that he doesn’t know Gunnar’s name yet. Shut up Ven. Fabio put a stretch tulle over his dress, so there are two layers. They do like it, and Kors praises the asymmetric hem but not the zipper. Everyone talks about how great it is, which…it’s a black dress with a diagonal hem. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not setting the world on fire. Chris talks about “his” texture and whatever. They like his dress too, which is lame. Kors knows it depends heavily on the wearer’s skin tone. Also, quit doing your stupid shredded thing, because we’re bored. They basically say that. Nina says it won’t work on everyone, but would be a nice addition to the collection. Then Melissa was in the top too! Kors likes the neckline, but her asymmetric hem is too asymmetrical? Whatever, Kors. The neckline is great and surprising and the fabric works. Gunnar talks about matte sequins and his voice is a little quavery. I think he knows he’s in the bottom. And he is. They’re bored and Nina’s seen the dress, although I’ll argue a black dress with an asymmetric hem has been seen too. Kors says he can push himself much further. It’s a little stiff and unforgiving.

Elena wanted simple and elegant. She’s in the top, which is nice and she starts crying. Heidi harasses her about it, and she says that she struggled with the challenge and with the competition and that she doesn’t make dresses like this and so forth. It’s a saleable dress, and it’s girly but with an edge and the back is great. All the judges praise her and her balance between something they can sell and her aesthetic and whatever. Alicia’s dress has a much lower waist than I thought. She’s in the bottom. She also says she can’t do a feminine dress, but then Heidi jumps on her and is like “Can’t you do anything we ask of you? Can’t you make something pretty?” Shut up, Heidi. It looks too mature and the drop waist is dowdy. Kors says “field hockey uniform” and then “Amish” because it’s not cut down to her breastbone.

 

Elena crows about being on the top while Gunnar and Alicia look pissed. Gunnar claims he can’t talk about it, he’s so angry. He says Heidi wanted to wear it (she might, I just don’t remember that part) but they’d seen it before. Chris’s looks expensive and is different. It would sell, not a ton, but it would sell. Nina says taste counts. Fabio’s dress can be worn by many different women and is versatile. Heidi is bored though. Last I looked, you aren’t the only one there, HEIDI. Melissa’s is dramatic but wearable. Sadly it’s probably the toughest to sell. Nina pretends to care that Elena was so surprised they liked her. Not that Nina is horrible, but I just don’t think she is moved by designers wanting to be liked. But it’s not a dress for an older woman. Everyone was bored by Gunnar’s dress. It’s nice enough, but no one will remember it. Heidi is offended that Alicia “can’t” make anything sexy. Nina liked the collar, but no one seems to like the rest of the dress.

Chris is the winner. WHAT?! That dress is a T-shirt and maxi skirt. Fabio is in. Elena is in. Melissa is in. Alicia is in. WHAT. That is not what I expected. At all. Then Heidi says Gunnar is in too, WHICH IS STUPID. Apparently no one sucked so bad they wanted to get rid of them. I guess they’re trying to get back on schedule after people quit. Gunnar lets them think he’s out for like, 30 seconds. Tim gets to come in and not send anyone to the workroom. Gunnar would have loved to have someone go home, but knowing he would have been that one, he's cool. 

Next week: teams of three. SIGH. It might be “clothes off your back”. Or possibly begging for money for fabric. Elena and Alicia get into it. Then Dmitry and Elena get into it. Kors sighs like he’s not loving every minute.

Hell's Kitchen 8/27/12--"4 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: everyone was required to teach beauty queens to cook, which mostly went well. Barbie won, somehow, because she’s decided to stop blending into the background and just float by. During dinner service Barbie further distinguished herself by bringing up crappy risotto four times in a row. But everyone is tired of Clemenza’s general suckage so he was sent home, finally.
Also, in the last moments someone walked by the camera in the dorms. Turns out it’s loved ones. Dana yells. Justin gets emotional. Everyone hangs out for a while and then everyone has to leave. Lame.

In the morning, they all run downstairs to get in a car and drive to Bristol Farms, a supermarket. Ramsey and Scott are waiting, to give them each $15 and 10 minutes to buy ingredients and make an “amazing” dish. This dish should bring the highest price possible. Dana spends almost $10 on fish. Barbie buys pork and sausage, while Justin buys seasonal vegetables. Christina tells the butcher to leave the skin on her swordfish, which is subtitled so it may be important later. Everyone is under budget, except Justin, who has managed to overspend by 77 cents. He throws out an avocado.

30 minutes to cook. Scott seems to be wandering around watching everyone which is fun. Dana yells that it’s so quiet in the kitchen. Christina has the fewest ingredients but she thinks she can still pull it off. Christina helps Dana and Barbie rolls her eyes.

Guest judges are David Lefevre, Hugh Garvey, and Christian Philippo. I don’t know who any of these people are. Highest average price wins. Justin: roasted corn, mango, jalapeno salsa with chili shrimp. It’s cooked well but is lacking “liveliness”. Average price is $28.33, which Justin feels is too low. It’s three shrimp with salsa. Barbie: pork chop with sausage and I think greens. The sausage is salty (…hee). She was adding sausage to try to make it worth more, but the judges don’t think that was a good idea. Average price is $33. Justin is pissed still. Dana: panko herb crusted halibut with shaved fennel and beurre blanc. They love it. Average price is $34. Nice. Christina: grilled swordfish, saffron rice, and shrimp. As predicted, they don’t like the skin. OK, one guy wants the skin on. Whatever. Average price is $33.67, so Dana wins. Nice. Except for the part where we have to listen to her yell about how glad she is. Dana will get lunch and one-on-one time with one of the guest judge chefs. No one gets to join her. Losers have to sort the trash for recyclables and then prep for service. Ha.

Barbie says she does this at home and is used to the smell. Why don’t you sort BEFORE you throw it all in the trash? Duh. Dana gets to go in the back and learn how to make curry mussels and stuff. The trash has been fermenting, and when Justin starts retching, Barbie tells him to make sure to throw up in the “organic” bin. Hee. Dana gets told to go put the mussels in the middle of the table, where her parents are waiting for her to hang out. That was unexpectedly nice. Dana brags mildly when she gets back into the kitchen. She goes to change and help prep, and tries to find out if it’s the regular menu today, but no one will talk to her. Oh, now that’s just rude. Dana decides no more friends. Ramsey shows up and says tonight is the night they each get a turn running the pass. DANA STOP YELLING FOR FUCK’S SAKE. The president of the casino where the winner’s restaurant will be is coming to dinner.

First table goes out without a hitch. Actually, it seems like they make it all the way to the first entrees without a hitch. Justin is up to the pass first. He’s doing well, even when Scott tries to put crab in the lobster spaghetti. Dana doesn’t answer him, so he demands an answer. Even though this is exactly what Ramsey does all the time, Dana whines that Justin is annoying. Justin thinks Dana is dragging on fish. She just laughs at him that it’ll be ready when it’s ready. Ramsey yells at her and accuses her of sabotaging Justin. Nice.

Dana is up next, and now she’s trying to prove herself. No one answers her first ticket, and Ramsey really just tells her to make them answer. Magically now everyone is respectful. Ramsey puts sugar in the risotto but she doesn’t notice. Dana is determined not to fail, but she doesn’t seem to do anything else wrong.

Barbie is louder than Dana in confessional. That’s pretty damn loud. She yells out a ticket, but she does it with her back to the kitchen, reading it off the counter. What? Ramsey has to tell her how to do it. Everyone answers her, which is nice of them. Barbie makes Justin refire a risotto, which means that Dana is supposed to refire scallops, and Justin is supposed to tell her? I’m not sure, but Barbie is not taking responsibility for the fact that Dana isn’t refiring anything. Barbie yells at both of them to talk to each other, when if Barbie had been clearer at the outset this wouldn’t have happened. Scott brings up celeriac instead of potatoes, but she catches it which is too bad.

Christina is pumped. She seems to be organizing well, until she calls Dana “buddy” and gets yelled at. Then Dana burns the cod. Ramsey says the brigade is running her (?), and then the cod is undercooked. Now everyone is yelling at Dana. She finally brings them up, and then Ramsey brings up arugula instead of spinach but she quickly catches that.

Ramsey tells them to discuss “who should stay and who should go home”. I don’t know if that’s vague enough. Barbie says Dana couldn’t hold her station and didn’t work the pass properly. That’s true. Dana just kind of shrugs when everyone tells her she was holding them back. She’s never held the pass before, and Barbie is all “it shows.” Burn. Everyone agrees with Barbie, but this is the most low-key argument in the history of this show. No one is yelling. Well, except Dana in confessional. 

Barbie hasn’t given up, she’s learned and grown and doesn’t want to go home. Justin gives 150% and can lead a team. Dana has excelled and won 4 or 5 challenges and has been consistent, even though tonight wasn’t her best night. Christina has improved and her standards have gotten much higher since she’s been there. Ramsey says he’s eliminating two of them tonight, and the first one is…Barbie? I am waiting for the twist, but no, she’s really gone. Woo! I thought the universe was going to fuck with me and put her in the final but I guess not. She claims to be proud and not bummed. Ramsey claims the last three are really close in terms of skill, and then the giant screens come down from the ceiling, as they do. To be continued!

Next time (which I think is in two weeks): final two, trip to Vegas, Penn and Teller, Wolfgang Puck, eliminated contestants (craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap). Someone will win, but we’ll have to put up with like, Robyn and Bryce.

Project Runway 8/23/12--"Fix My Friend" summary

Previously on Project Runway: There was a stupid team challenge. Raul and Elena were the worst, Raul because he refused to listen to his team at all, and Elena because she had one of her freakouts and yelled at everyone. Gunnar got pissy about his team too. There was a photoshoot which wasn’t even that great. Melissa won, because a high cowl neckline is apparently “modern”, even though no one I know would wear it to work. Raul was eliminated again. On the way out he told Elena he hated her guts, because I guess he is unaware of how stupid that makes him look.

No one wants to wake up this morning. Sonjia wants to get rid of some of these boys. Dmitry really wants to win, because he’s been close and it causes him to lose his confidence if he doesn’t win things. So I guess it’s his turn this week.

            

 Heidi says they have new clients today. Random men and women. Oh, these people aren’t really the clients, ha ha! These people have friends who need makeovers. Heidi asks if they’ll help them out, and Dmitry snarks “Do we have a choice?” Hee. Melissa has immunity. Tim will meet them later, and I guess we’re not assigning anyone yet. Heidi wishes them luck and tells them they might need it. Everyone laughs and makes sarcastic comments, which makes Heidi realize she just implied this will suck, while the friends are still standing there. So she’s all “it might be fun!” but they point out she said they’d need luck. “You’re helping people!” Heidi kicks them out.

            

 The L’Oreal guy is here. They are supposed to think behind styling for this one day. Random assignments, 30 minutes to consult, one day to sew. No budget is given. Sonjia is super nice to her girl, but I don’t think anyone would be surprised by that. Some of these girls actually don’t look that bad. Maybe I watch too much “What Not to Wear”. Ven gets the “fat” girl. She’s not that huge, and you’ll notice that Sonjia’s girl said things don’t fit her right because she’s pear-shaped, and Sonjia just went with it. Ven says he was “disappointed” when he saw Terri because the proportions are too different. Then he says “these women” which is pretty heinous. I will say they did get a good mix of “plain girl who dresses boring” and “weird girl who is tacky”. Nathan’s girl asks for an exposed midriff but also sophisticated. Girl. Nathan does an excellent McKayla frown. Fabio gets Ko-Rely and Judah-Rev. Seriously? Whatever. Gunnar makes a big deal about designing for “regular” women. I know he does, because I know his clientele is old Southern women, who can’t all be tiny, but he’s still irritating. His client actually starts to cry, and I will admit he’s nice and gives her a hug and tells her how much fun this will be. Shopping is shopping. Dmitry says that they’ll have to tone themselves down because they have actual customers. Ven complains some more about how he can’t do what he wants because it won’t work on his client.

             

Nathan is making something he normally wouldn’t, which is never a good sign. There are meetings with the hair guy and the clients. He plugs all the different hair color formulas. Ven says it’s not fair that he got a fat girl and other people have model-sized clients. Shut up, Ven. I think Chris has denim shorts on. Sigh. Everyone talks about their siblings for some reason. Where did that come from? Gunnar talks about missing his family. Producers, I still don’t like him. Being nice to his client makes him slightly better but he’s still annoying.

             

Tim time! Nathan tells Tim how his client wanted exposed midriff (Tim cries out in horror) but he isn’t doing that, and also has some “non-hooker mesh”. Hee. Tim says she needs to wear shapewear. Let me tell you, if I’m on this show, I’m wearing it whether or not you tell me. Elena is putting a high-waisted skirt on a girl with a short torso. But she’s making a long top. Gunnar has a piñata. I don’t know. Keep it clean. Fabio has a pretty high neck, because his client doesn’t want cleavage. Sonjia thinks her rouching won’t make her client look bigger. Probably not. Ugh. Time for Ven. He actually claims he was “shocked” when he saw his client, and then when Tim asks how big she is, he actually LAUGHS and says she’s like a 14. FOURTEEN!?!?! You ass. Tim reminds him that is the cusp of plus-sized, without adding that the average woman in this country is a size 14. Fabio says Ven’s client is beautiful, and it’s too bad she came to the show hoping for some special treatment and she’s stuck with Ven’s stupid ass. Truth. Elena has lost respect for him. I think a lot of them have, because behind Tim everyone is just staring. Tim (in his slightly disappointed teacher voice) reminds Ven that clothes can provide an optical illusion. Also she’s almost 40. Really? She was? Damn. She looked good. Tim says she’s not old, and this could be a debut into who she can be. Alicia has foofy pink fabric. Dmitry is trying to give attitude, but he still wants her to be professional. That dress is not attitude.

            

 Gunnar has like, a sheer piece of fabric with black squares sewn on it. So it’s like a shawl, I guess, but with texture. Elena gushes about it and tells him it’s so different from what he normally does, so chic and gorgeous. Ha! Gunnar laughs but I think he’s secretly pissed.

             

The clients come in, after having their hair makeovers already. Everyone talks about how great their hair is. Fabio’s girl loves his dress. Elena likes her girl’s hair, and Dmitry snarks that he’s never seen her be nice to anyone. Alicia’s pink dress is odd. Gunnar’s dress actually looks pretty good, and he and the friend reassure his client when she talks about being “full-figured”. She does have a good hourglass shape. Ven is all “your hair is great, and black is slimming”. Sigh. He wants to put a belt on her, but it’s too small, so he’s just mumbling about finding a bigger one. Chris is in the background doing the hand-slicing-the-throat “shut up” gesture. Man, when Chris and Gunnar look better than you do, it’s time to think about things. As Gunnar points out, she’s your client and you probably shouldn’t be rude to her.

           

Morning. Fabio thinks Nathan is in trouble, and Ven because Ven is an ass. Ven is busy in his apartment bitching about how fat his client is. He is STILL whinging about it. Welcome to reality TV, Ven. Also welcome to the internet.

             

Tim gives them 3 hours this morning to get ready. Nice. Ven tells his client how slimming his dress is, and she says it’s nice but not her. In confessional Ven claims she told him she wouldn’t wear it all the time, but she “loves” the way it looks. From the side, it’s not that great, but that’s how I look from the side. No dress will hide it. I feel you girl. They discuss belts, and she finally tells him he keeps harping on how the belts they had were too small and it’s embarrassing. Go girl! Then it gets insane. Now Ven is pissed because she has basically told him he’s making her feel fat, but “not at all did I ever say that, that’s the way she’s feeling because nothing I brought fits her.” Yeah, and you keep harping on it. Do you not hear yourself? Chris is horrified and now this girl is crying which is horrible. Her friend actually confronts him, and points out that Terri is upset, because if that was me I would assume he didn’t notice or care. Ven claims to be sorry about that (he says they just don’t connect) and he tries to explain about how why he used black instead of colors and he does know she’s unhappy but I don’t think he feels she should be. Like, she should understand how hard this was for him or something. Whatever. He tries to convince Terri to let him finish the dress, and he talks a shit-ton about how great her hair looks, but Terri just fake laughs so good for her. Hot makeup guy flirts with the clients, but you know it’s fake. You know he wants to flirt with the boys. I want to point out this whole time, some random friend is also comforting Terri. Like, she is unrelated and just met this girl, or never met this girl, but she looks like a mom so she’s in mom mode. It’s sweet.

            

 Guest judge is Alice Temperley, who is a British designer. Nathan: blue sheath dress, with a sweetheart neckline and pleats, and then black sheer sleeves and top that goes up pretty high. It’s not bad, although it’s better than exposed midriff. Short though, and exposed zipper. Elena: black pencil skirt and a sleeveless top in pink, with a boatneck and a small peplum. I probably would like it more if the top wasn’t the color of her skin. She has a sassy walk. Melissa: black strapless bandage dress (looks like a bandage dress) and a huge scarf that she is struggling with. It’s falling down and it is just bad. Plus no one can see the dress. I think there are folds on top? Gunnar: black dress with texture in it somehow, and just a plain V-neck top. This girl is also having fun dancing around and stuff. There’s a keyhole in back. Hee, she is seriously exaggerating her walk to swing her ass around. Alicia: pink shift dress with thin straps and a sweetheart neckline. Somehow there are triangular cutouts at her waist that are covered with lace or something. It’s short and boring.

            

 Chris: charcoal gray wrap dress, sleeveless, which some draping at one hip. It’s a really cute dress, actually. There’s also a jacket, which looks like a cardigan. We don’t get a good look at it because she took off the jacket right away. Ven: black skirt with a side sipper that is unzipped slightly, a black belt (so I guess he found one), and a shiny turquoise wrap top with kimono sleeves. I could probably find that top in a store somewhere. She’s pissed. Dmitry: dark turquoise sheath dress that is kind of short, exposed zipper, some pleating in the front on the V-neckline. Her ass looks great, I suppose. Fabio: color blocked dress, sleeveless with a high crew neck, and a fuller skirt. The colors are all gray, and she walks horribly but it’s really cute. Sonjia: girl, that is short. It’s a dark blue, with a knot just under her boobs. Oh, short.

            

 Melissa, Chris, Alicia, and Elena are safe. Chris is relieved. Dmitry, Fabio, and Gunnar have the high scores. Aww…Nathan is in the bottom. I bet he goes home. Against Ven and Sonjia? Boo. Dmitry claims his dress will not wrinkle. His girl loves it. Heidi says it’s not slutty but it’s hot. The color is excellent. Fabio wanted to have something feminine (the silhouette) but edgy (the sharp lines of the colorblocking). Heidi makes fun of the girl a little bit, but everyone laughs. Heidi also thinks she looks like an artist, which she is. That’s a good call. Kors says it took a boy in a dress to get her in a dress. Is Fabio wearing a skirt? Gunnar talks about the chiffon squares we saw earlier and how sassy she was and how great his client is. She is sassy. The judges praise her walk and how fun she is and stuff. I think that her dress isn’t super great, but the fact that she clearly loves it and was fun got him into the top.

            

 Loser gong! Well, just in my head. Sonjia’s girl likes that Sonjia listened to her, which is nice. Heidi doesn’t think the knot works, and then she says it’s so short it’s slutty. Oo. The proportions are off. She’s sporty, and now it’s a draped cocktail dress, and Kors thinks she’s too far in the other direction. She didn’t want a lot of cleavage, but there is too much fabric for a short girl. Ven says he’s never worked with “real-sized women”. Terri is not happy, and she is not afraid to say so. Good. Ven cannot shut up about how fat she is and others have skinny clients. Heidi (the MODEL) shuts him down and says “You don’t design for real women? Who is not real?” It doesn’t look like her. The different colored top and skirt cut her in half, and she can’t wear it to work because it’s shiny. Kors slams Ven for not communicating, because if he had to scramble last minute then he wasn’t listening. Her friend gets emotional because she wanted Terri to get her moment in the spotlight because she’s so busy all the time. Nina says her skirt is great, which is how you know Ven’s not going anywhere. He didn’t listen. Heidi flat out says “Ven, it’s your fault. We like Terri but we don’t like your outfit.” Nice. Nathan explains he had to make a performance outfit. She likes it, but wants it tighter. So let’s hope that they take that into account. Heidi says it looks cheap. They have to explain to Alice what a “hoochie-mama” is. Oh, there were sheer panels down the sides. Oh, Nathan. He tries the “I did what she wanted” track and seals his fate. That never goes over well. Kors says he ended up with a dress full of clichés and I guess she shouldn’t have the mesh but just skin? Kors does say that she shouldn’t wear tight satin.

            

 Ven has irritated everyone, and didn’t actually work with his client. They know Ven didn’t care about her at all. Nathan gets nailed for listening too much to his client. They wanted him to stand up to her more and do his thing. Sonjia’s dress was just boring and short. There was too much fabric. Fabio did an unexpected dress that was perfect for his client. Gunnar had a great transformation and worked with his client’s transformation. Dmitry also had a great transformation and the dress was sophisticated. I think it was slightly boring but not a bad dress. But we know Dmitry already talked this morning about winning, so there you go.

            

 Fabio is…the winner? Yay! Damn, I was totally wrong. Gunnar is in. Dmitry is in. Heidi pretends they might get rid of multiple people. Nathan is out. Aww, I didn’t want to be right about that one. Nathan is really upset, because he says he knows how to dress people who don’t feel comfortable about themselves. Aww. He has to take a moment. I believe you Nathan. Sonjia is in. Ven gets yelled at some more and then is declared in. Boo. When he gets back in to the Scrap Bin, he declares to the room that he doesn’t think he should have been the last one up there because there were some weak looks. Ass. Tim says Nathan has “profound qualities of character”.

            

 Next time: somehow the looks will be put into production, Elena freaks out, Melissa made a huge mistake, Ven continues to be an ass, Sonjia breaks down?! Oh no!

           

Hell's Kitchen 8/20/12--"5 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: Clemenza and Dana won the first challenge, which was not very exciting, and then the contestants all worked together in one kitchen for the first time, without any giant hangups. Well, except for Dana on fish, but she just got behind. She also didn’t want Robyn or Clemenza to help her, because they suck. Also they had to compete against a team of runner-ups, although nothing happened with that either. Long story short: Robyn went home.  

Dana shouts that it’s great to be rid of Robyn. Everyone pretty much feels the same. Clemenza swears he’s going to change.

           

Ramsey claims he’s giving them a treat. Right. He offers to cook them some comfort food, chicken parmesan. Really? He tells them what he’s doing, obviously so they can be tested. Everyone knows it. Clemenza claims his is better. Of course they have to reproduce it. However! The contestants won’t actually make it, they have to teach someone else to do it. Dana says this is what she does. Are all your students deaf from your shouting? The students today are beauty queens. What? Why? And they’re all Miss Teen USA, although from long enough ago that they’re probably all legal now. They are all dressed up, which the show tries to claim as “beauty queens are stupid” as opposed to “producers told them to dress up and wear heels”.

             

30 minutes. Also everyone has whole chickens, to get the breast from, and like, having to open the wine bottles and so forth. Clemenza’s girl says “thong” instead of “tongs” and he just giggles. Barbie spends a lot of time chopping onions. Some girl spits something out and claims to not be used to green vegetables. Everyone appears to finish.

            

 Christina makes some comment about big breasts. Pretty close, the chicken is well cooked. Justin does very well, although the chicken is “too thick” which seems minor. Dana put too much cheese. Ramsey asks why every challenge can’t be this good. Maybe you should kick all these jokers out and have the beauty queens compete. Barbie does not appear to get any criticism, which is too bad because I don’t like her. Clemenza’s sauce is too chunky. He says that’s how it’s supposed to be. Barbie and Dana get called up to get second tastes. Finally he says the winner is Barbie. Boo. Tomorrow night is Italian night. Today Barbie gets to have a fun day, and she gets to pick someone to go with her. Clemenza says spending the day with Barbie might be as bad as punishment. Heh. She picks Justin, and they will get lunch and kayaking. And supposedly Ramsey’s Maserati convertible to drive. Riiiight. Losers have to prep everything.

             

Christina thinks there’s a strategy going on, with Barbie suddenly being awesome, and trying to claim “patience is a virtue”. Ha, the Maserati has a driver. OK, there is no way to say this without being a bitch, so I’m just going to say it: no 34 year old woman I know has natural boobs that perky. She clearly has no bra on. There is gross porn music playing as Barbie and Justin eat. Clemenza makes pasta and tells Christina and Dana how to put their pasta through the machine and that it’s too dry and stuff. Kayaking is boring. Dana complains about being tired of pasta. Barbie and Justin come back and talk about how great their trip was, and no one responds. Justin interviews that he feels bad for the people doing punishment, and he makes them dinner. However, it’s spaghetti, and now everyone is mad at them. Whatever.

           

Clemenza talks a lot in confessional about how awesome he’s going to be. He pounds chicken breasts but for no reason a bunch of them are huge. Why are they so big? Who knows. Scott catches it and yells at Clemenza, but not as spectacularly as I would hope. Dana whines because now her station is screwed and dinner hasn’t even started. When dinner does start, Ramsey tells Clemenza he should shine tonight. That’s what he said to Kimmie. Ramsey reads off a table and then immediately asks Clemenza what the order was, and he wasn’t listening. Oops. He’s not organized at all, but the flatbread comes out perfectly. Barbie brings up the risotto and it’s perfect also so this is a good start. Second table, Ramsey reads off the table, same thing happens. Clemenza has no idea what is going on. Barbie’s second risotto is raw with no salt. Oops. Dana yells at things. When Ramsey is yelling at Barbie, she does not respond, not even to argue that she isn’t finished. She brings up risotto again, but it’s the same, raw and no salt. Once again, she says nothing to Ramsey but bitches at Clemenza, who takes over risotto from her. Barbie yells at him to taste it, which is rich because has she tasted anything yet today? I guess she wants him to hurry up and take it up but Clemenza doesn’t think it’s done? Clemenza gets tired of her and says FINE and takes it up, even though he knows it’s terrible. Barbie finally responds to Ramsey, because he says he doesn’t care if she finishes service or not. Next crappy risotto, she’s out. She interviews that she wants to be on this side of the door, but every time she fails there is never an explanation.

             

Entrees begin. Dana takes a minute to figure out how much time she needs, because she’s searing too many filets. Some are burnt, and she thinks she should have just thrown them out. Barbie snobs about it, which is rich. Justin gets put in charge, and he does seem to take control and get everything together. Christina brings up burnt spinach and also lacking salt. What is with the salt today? Ramsey is getting sarcastic instead of shouty, which is weird to me. Last table of appetizers. He bets Barbie and Clemenza $100 that they will screw it up. Clemenza and Barbie take a long time, but then Barbie brings up too much spaghetti and no crab so Ramsey says “I beg you to go home.” She apologizes to her team, which no one acknowledges. Finally they finish, but now everyone is mad that they had to wait for Barbie. As in, the waiters take the appetizer plates and serve entrees.

             

Ramsey says they were on the verge of embarrassment. Nominate one person. Christina starts freaking out because she had some off risotto or something. Clemenza clearly feels Barbie should go up. Justin agrees, but he also is tired of Clemenza. Dana and Christina also discuss Clemenza, but Dana hates Barbie. Justin asks Barbie what happened tonight, but she refuses to discuss it. She interviews that Clemenza is an oaf and in her way. Right. Barbie and Clemenza argue, and it turns out that all that time? Barbie was screaming TAKE the risotto, not TASTE the risotto. Which makes a lot more sense. Still makes her look bad, though. Barbie’s defense of the screaming is that it was at his back and not in his face. Justin’s rationalization is that Barbie failed tonight, which is true, but Clemenza is just generally a mess.

            

 Justin tells Ramsey their team couldn’t come up with a consensus. Ramsey asks if they have any balls, and Barbie pipes up that she doesn’t know either, which if I was Justin, I would just decide on Barbie and put her up right then. Dana tells Ramsey it’s between Barbie and Clemenza, and Ramsey says he wants to hear from both of them anyway. Barbie wants to be here, and she doesn’t address anything Ramsey says but just claims she never gave up. Clemenza has been nominated for 50% of his performances. 14 services, 7 nominations. Wow. He says he keeps going, he wanted to do better tonight, the usual. Barbie says she doesn’t trust Clemenza on the line because he is disorganized. He fires back that he told her the risotto wasn’t ready and she told him to take it up anyway. Clemenza is finally eliminated. He certainly did last longer than I thought he would. Justin is focused. In the dorms there is champagne and chocolates. Dana yells about stuff. Someone walks by the camera and everyone freaks out.

            

 Next time: whoever walked by is revealed, everyone gets to run the pass, everyone thinks Dana is sabotaging everyone else, we go from four to two, I think.

Project Runway 8/16/12--"It's My Way on the Runway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Andrea left in the middle of the night, and then Kooan quit in the workroom. Everyone interviewed about how horrible Andrea was but no one said anything bad about Kooan. Seriously, everyone was super angry with her, which was strange and also, shut up and work. Chris was especially annoying. Raul returned. The challenge was to make outfits for women on the go, and Sonjia won with a really cute dress. Buffi made a zebra print sheath with a hot pink smock over so she was eliminated.

Gunnar says he will miss Buffi’s “lightness”. Shut up Gunnar. I still don’t like you. All of Melissa’s roommates have left so she moves into the other apartment. Raul says he loves Chris, possibly THAT WAY, which just goes to show. Something. Chris says he doesn’t want to work with partners, and Fabio dryly notes “No, you made Andrea run away.” Heh.

             

Heidi strolls out with the velvet bag. She’s obnoxious about it, but then Nina comes out so it’s OK. Supposedly there is a thing called “Marie Claire at Work”, which is all about work and is a fast-growing segment of the fashion world and whatever. They have to create a “fashion capsule collection” that is both editorial and possible to wear in the real world. Two teams. Heh. No one wants to work in teams. Each team also has to direct a photoshoot, and the photos will factor into the judging. Winners get into the magazine. Sonjia gets to pick first for teams, so she picks Elena. The other team starts with Nathan, who picks Ven. Each person picks the next person, so Sonjia and Nathan don’t pick everyone. The teams are: Sonjia, Elena, Melissa, Dmitry, Alicia, and Raul; and Nathan, Ven, Chris, Fabio, and Gunnar. There is a giant thing about how Chris didn’t pick Raul, where Raul is insulted and Chris is all “Raul doesn’t get along with my team”. Whatever. Also it gets down to Raul and Gunnar (…heh), and Gunnar snobs that he doesn’t want to be on either team. Oh, so you want to go home then? Bye! One outfit per person, which supposedly makes it fair that the teams are unbalanced.

            

Tim reminds them there are no leaders, so we’ll see how long that lasts. They will be Team 6 and Team 5. 30 minutes to sketch, and only one day. Tomorrow is the photoshoot, and they’ll go straight from the apartments to the shoot so it has to be packed up tonight. Ouch. Sonjia quickly wants to delegate and have everyone do two garments for separates. Alicia likes the idea of doing two tops instead of doing a top and pants. Raul says something about pants and Sonjia asks if he can do a top like he did when he first got there, because they need something like that. Raul says no, he needs enough to cover his ass. What? Let’s at least pretend to be a team player. Over on Team 5 they decide on “Fall Into Color”. Gunnar whines that Chris, Nathan, and Ven are taking over and doing color blocking and something about the 80’s as if Gunnar and his skunk stripe are the height of sophistication. Team 6 argues over prints vs. lace. Guess who doesn’t want to do what the team does? Raul insists that his shirt looks better with lace and screw them. Team 5 divvies up the work and tells Gunnar what to do. They are micromanaging him, but I don’t care. Hey, it’s hypocritical but that’s what happens when you decide to be the bitchy queen of the season. Shopping is shopping, except for Raul buying random things, saying he’s going to use what he wants and the rest of the team will just have to incorporate his choices into the collection “because it’s about six designers, not one or two.” I wonder if he hears himself. Don’t make me put you on the list too.

            

 Team 6 gets back to the workroom and they are missing a bag. Oo. Elena starts to freak out because her fabric is what’s missing. She has to use some jersey and will have to readjust. Melissa tries an idea that involves Raul changing his design, and he immediately says he will not because it’s not who he is as a designer. Everyone stares at him. Raul says no one is listening to him, but he’s already been eliminated so…maybe they’re not. He’s very insistent that he will be doing what he wants, and not what everyone wants him to do, as if no one else has compromised anything today. I mean, they probably have, I would assume so. Dmitry can’t believe Raul would start worrying about standing before the judges, before he’s even made anything. Meanwhile Elena has commenced her freakout. Ugh.

             

Chris finds a giant comb under a table and the designers establish it’s Kooan’s. Chris makes a face like he’s so upset he might cry, which, shut the hell up, Chris. Fabio says when Elena freaks out everyone just avoids her. Chris talks about her, which is stupid because they’re not even on the same team. Nathan asks Gunnar about his skirt, and someone says it should be fitted or A-line, except that during sketching someone told him to do a full skirt so what the hell? Gunnar bitches that this isn’t his aesthetic and he’s not a fucking tailor, in that angry snippy queen tone that just drives me up the wall. Shut up Gunnar. I can’t even entertain that you might have a point, I want to smack you so much right now. Raul says that this top is him as a designer, 100%. So expect it to suck. Elena’s jacket isn’t turning out right so the freakout continues. See, she hates this challenge too, but has channeled this into complaining instead of insubordination.

           

Tim time! Elena sighs hugely when he comes over. They explain how everyone is doing two tops or whatever, and they show off their looks which are only half done so it’s hard to tell what’s going on. Tim says he likes how Raul’s top has volume and Sonjia’s skirt is slim. Raul decides this means he’s on the right track. Elena hates her jacket, and Tim actually has to say it’s good. That doesn’t happen very often. Elena agrees to go with it. Tim likes the collection, because it doesn’t look like it came out of the same box. Team 5 doesn’t seem to have a lot of stuff, as they are describing what they have and aren’t actually showing everything. They have mostly silk somehow and random purple prints. Tim says it looks like clowns. Gunnar, of course, agrees but won’t say anything for some reason, probably he is too chickenshit to speak up. He’s “over it”. What does that even mean? Because “over it” to me says “I’m going to shut up about it now” and that NEVER happens. Tim is smart and calls Gunnar out, because Gunnar has refused to make eye contact. Tim is concerned about Gunnar’s lace looking matronly. It says “bullfighter” and “costume”. Also since when does Gunnar stop talking?

             

Gunnar decides he’s going to do whatever he wants. Then he talks to himself which I’m sure will just make his team dislike him. Sonjia tries to find out from Raul what he’s doing, but he mostly refuses to tell her. That’s a problem because Sonjia’s skirt has to go with it. So she decides she’s going to whatever the hell she wants, and if it doesn’t go, she’ll just have to defend herself. I’m pretty sure the reaction to team challenges isn’t supposed to be “Screw you guys, Imma do what I want”. At least, usually only one person does that. Or every person on the team. Elena, of all people, makes up a song called “Silk Chiffonzies” and says to Chris that’s his name. Him, Ven, and Nathan, because they always use silk chiffon to make impractical garments. That’s…strangely human of her. And not freaking out. Melissa points out that women don’t wear silk chiffon to work. Generally. Then out of nowhere Elena says everyone hates Dmitry’s navy blue because no one wears navy blue anymore. What? Dmitry points out she probably should have said that before the dress was half done, on his form. Elena insists she did, and Dmitry interviews that everyone hates Elena, even if they say they don’t.

             

Model fitting. Ven doesn’t like Gunnar’s taste level. Dmitry tries to say Ven is a one-trick pony, but can’t quite come up with the phrase at first so calls him a “one-way monkey”. Hee. The back of Melissa’s dress is crazy. A ton of frantic working. Raul’s vest has weird side-boob flaps and is pretty low, so it needs a shirt. I don’t think he was planning on a shirt. Everyone seems to be done, mostly.

            

 Tim welcomes everyone to the photoshoot. They get three hours, and they’ll end up choosing three photos. Hot makeup guy. Elena is ordering everyone around. Team 5 appears to be working together. Chris thinks everyone is voicing their ideas. No one argues so I guess they are. Elena and Raul argue. Chris and Nathan try to pick out a picture but they can’t agree because they can’t find a picture where all garments look good. Elena seems to be arguing about everything. She hates all the props, but the rest of the team want some props. Seriously, she needs to calm down. Melissa finally loses it and says Elena should just do whatever she wants, since that’s what she’s going to do anyway. Elena is all “don’t fucking talk to me like that” which doesn’t have any meaning, but Melissa stands up to her.

             

Everyone goes back to Parsons so the models can get done up again and walk the runway. Guest judge today is Joanna Coles. Team 5 is up first. Nathan: wide-legged white pants, with a weird drape in front. A wide black belt, and a one-shouldered top in a purple and pink floral print. It’s a nice print, but maybe for work in a top underneath a blazer or something. At least the one side has an elbow-length sleeve. Chris: pencil skirt in a print, but somehow it’s pleated or something? A black jacket and a white shirt. The jacket is nothing exciting. Gunnar: dress with a black skirt, with side panels in the print Nathan had, and a white sleeveless bodice with a high black collar. The print is also at the shoulders. I don’t like the stripe of print. It’s so bad they subtitle one of Heidi’s comments, which is “floating soufflé boobs”. Heh. Fabio: also a dress, mostly black, with white over her shoulders. There are little cap sleeves. It’s nice. But then there’s a headband in the print. And an over-the-forehead headband, not the kind that run from ear to ear over the top of your head. Ven: a black draped top, so all folded down the front, and a white skirt. The skirt is supposed to be kind of flowy, but as the model walks she’s getting cameltoe. The photos are just OK.

            

 Team 6. Melissa: blue sheath dress with a high poofy collar. I like the blue but the collar is silly. Diagonal zipper down the back. Elena and Alicia: pants and a black top with the jacket. So I guess the pants are Alicia. It’s not earth-shattering, but it’s perfectly nice. Raul/Sonjia: Raul’s top has vertical ruffles, and Sonjia has a blue pencil skirt. Elena/ Alicia again: high waisted wool pants, which are pretty good, and Elena’s top has mutton sleeves and a zipper up the front. Dmitry: navy blue dress with a split neckline. Actually it’s not all navy blue, it’s done in blocks. So half the bodice is navy and half black, and then switched for the skirt. Exposed zipper down the back and a keyhole right where her tramp stamp would be. Raul/Sonjia: the skirt is draped around her hips, and it’s kind of interesting but maybe only for skinny people. Otherwise it’s like you could carry things in that swag of fabric. The leather vest is not exciting.

            

 Heidi claims both teams did well. She also claims both teams had the same score, which I don’t think has happened before. Team 5 is up first. Ven talks about black and white and a pop of color. Heidi likes the softer fabric, which makes no sense. Nina likes it as a collection, except it’s not all cohesive. I guess collections on this show are never cohesive. Chris’s skirt has the pleats that make the print less matronly. It’s interesting, and I’ll agree with Nina on that. Fabio’s dress is easy and great. The headband is dumb, but I think it’s because they liked Fabio’s turban and ropes from last time. Joanna says that she likes that Ven had a good interpretation of a classic suit. Kors and Joanna like the photo of everyone at a table because they might actually be working. Nina’s one reservation is Nathan’s look. Aww. The blouse is matronly and the pants are unflattering. They do seem to be draped weird across her hips. Nathan says that was on purpose, he wanted the “inspiration” of a skirt. Nina thinks pajama pants are not a good message. Heidi says something crazy about alternate age groups. I guess her point is 50-year-olds would wear it. Heidi hates Gunnar’s though, because the top is droopy. Kors agrees, and it seems that the fabric is to blame. For the print too. Heidi demands to know the weakest link, and Fabio says the strongest link is Ven. Huh? He knows they liked Ven’s, so he’s going to name Ven, knowing they won’t get rid of him and refusing to help them choose a loser. Nice. Chris picks Gunnar (shock) and Gunnar gets bitchy and says his look is the weakest, maybe, but at least it has his name on it. Everyone else goes with Gunnar.

             

Team 6 gets to talk. Back in the Scrap Bin Chris pretends he didn’t want to say Gunnar’s name. Team 6 had something modern and editorial. Nina loves Melissa’s blue dress, and she likes that there are both wide-legged pants and skinny pants. Kors thinks someone would wear that dress to the office, and I don’t know where you could wear such a giant collar, but we’ll go with it. Kors also thinks the ruffles on Raul’s top are too overwhelming. No one seems to like it. Joanna says the whole thing is commercial, which it probably is. Heidi likes Dmitry’s look too, but Joanna says there are many professions where that open keyhole in the back is not appropriate. This is why Joanna is so good. She asks things like “How is anyone going to wear a bra?” Kors pretends he can tell from the clothes they didn’t get along and they all did whatever they felt like, as if the other team didn’t do the same thing. You know the producers told him they argued. Raul and Elena throw each other under the bus when asked who is the weak link. Hilariously Raul says it’s because Elena won’t compromise her designs. Everyone not Raul says that Raul is the worst. Well, except Dmitry says Elena doesn’t have a work ethic and stresses out the team.

             

Sonjia calls Dmitry out about saying Elena doesn’t have work ethic, I’m not sure why, so of course Elena and Dmitry start arguing. Raul jumps in to say he can’t stand her either. The judges like Melissa’s dress, Fabio’s dress, and Chris’s outfit. They all photograph well, and they are interesting. Elena is obsessed with shoulders, the mutton sleeve was bad. Both Raul’s tops were ugly and unflattering. Gunnar cut his outfit poorly and they can’t get over the top. Team 6 had strong graphics and modern clothes, but Team 5’s photos looked like they were working. Heidi is pushing for Team 5, and says she’d find more outfits from that collection. That’s not a rousing endorsement.

            

 Nina tells everyone that Team 6 is getting the photo spread. Woo. Alicia is in. Chris is in. Melissa is the winner! Good for her. Fabio is in. Sonjia is in. Ven is in. Dmitry is in. Nathan is in. Good. Elena is in. Oo. Raul vs. Gunnar. Oh, you know they won’t get rid of Gunnar. And they don’t. Gunnar says “Thanks for the heart attack” which would make me get rid of him right then on principle. Raul goes back to the Scrap Bin and says he’ll miss some people. He give Ven shit, but Ven doesn’t seem to care. Then he tells Elena he hates her, and there’s a pause, and she says “I don’t like you either” and he tries to talk over her which just makes him look insecure. Elena sits on the couch as he hugs everyone else and stares him down. She came out the winner there, I think. Raul says this is not who he is so he’s glad to go home.

            

 Next time: random women, makeovers, Ven is the “I can’t design for fat women” asshat this season.