Thursday, November 29, 2012

Project Runway All Stars 11/29/12--"You've Got Mail" summary



Previously on Project Runway: apparently people could submit photos for designers to use as inspiration for outfits. Kind of irritating, since I never heard about it, but maybe they only offered to USA Today readers. Laura continued to alienate everyone because she can’t talk about her past without mentioning how rich she was. Anthony Ryan made a dress that was nice, not particularly related to his picture or his “headline” about overcoming cancer. Andrae was sent home, because supposedly the judges are tired of his babbling on the runway. Instead of Josh, who made a Rainbow Brite outfit. Seriously, find a picture of his outfit and then a picture of Rainbow Brite. But Josh hasn’t gotten his redemption yet, although just letting Laura be the villain this season is going a long way. (click for more)


Carolyn comes out in a long vest and no shirt. She says something vague about “fashion forward” and androgyny. Ivy says to her this means something that can be worn by a man or a woman. Josh seems thrilled. This look should combine masculine and feminine characteristics. Laura is screwed because she doesn’t really have any masculine characteristics in her clothes. Then Carolyn drops “avant garde” too which seems like too many requirements. $150 and the rest of today to work.

Everyone gets to work and Kayne is listing off people who are androgynous except he includes Lady Gaga. Is she androgynous? She’s avant garde, certainly. Kayne makes sure to mention his female model, which would have more impact if they hadn’t spoiled the model thing in last week’s previews. Laura is making a smoking jacket but with feminine cutouts. Casanova has cutouts too. Emilio is making a dress, but with “menswear” fabrics. Shopping is shopping. Kayne has a searing neon yellow, and it looks like Anthony Ryan might also. Uli has some metallic fringe.

Emilio now says he’s making a suit? It looked like a dress in his sketch but maybe he changed his mind. Georgina walks in, and Anthony Ryan curses because he knows something’s up. It is a twist, of course, and she says it’s about the models. Then men walk in. Hee! Everyone freaks out. So the deal is, you have to make two looks. One for the male model, and one for the female model. Sigh. I hate when they do that, because I have to talk about twice as many things. One extra day and more money and shopping. The models will come down the runway together, so the outfits have to go together. Everyone takes measurements. Kayne establishes his model is straight, and offers to set him up with some of his sisters. Emilio thinks his outfit won’t have to be tweaked that much. Anthony Ryan is going to put his model in a dress. That doesn’t automatically make it avant garde but this show never has actual avant garde things so whatevs. Kayne’s jacket also fits on his male model. Josh wants to do a skirt with assless chaps. I could not make this up. Uli is not excited about the twist.

Female model fitting. Emilio snobs that no one is androgynous enough. Kayne talks about metallic mesh and the yellow actually doesn’t look as eye-searing behind black and white houndstooth.

Day two. More shopping. Emilio says he’s screwed because there is only one yard of his fabric left. Several people are putting their original look on their male model. Josh walks around in Anthony Ryan’s dress, which is black with sheer pieces and a mullet hem. And he has on black combat boots. Josh looks a fool. Casanova appears to have very shiny gold pants. But he does have a bodice with cutout scorpions, which is really cool.

Joanna time! Uli has put her fringe on her jacket and it’s OK. Althea snobs that “great clothes come from great tailoring” which is true, I guess. Maybe I am just irritated at everyone today. Uli then tells Joanna that her male model tried on the pants and there was not much “ball movement”. Hee. Anthony Ryan is going to make pants with his dress, and is thinking about making them out of the yellow. Althea has big cowl collars and Joanna says “Eyes Wide Shut” which is awesome. Josh says something about ponies. Ivy is talking but all I can look at is she appears to have vinyl underwear with a crotch pouch. Ivy swears it will be covered up. Emilio is putting both models in the same vest and pants. Joanna is worried about Casanova putting his models in gold leather gladiator tops. Laura is making a sheer shirt? Because women would want to buy it for themselves? Her lapels are lopsided. Kayne is making leather flowers. To go on his jacket with the giant black leather ruffle. That goes over his yellow shirt with a smiley face on it. Jeez, Kayne.

Kayne rethinks the smiley face, thank God. Casanova tries to put on the gold leather pants, which are hilarious and disco. Emilio says “The ball room looks limited” which is also hilarious. The girls come back for more fittings. Casanova is discovering the pants are too small. He hates them. Ivy tells him the pattern is wrong and helps him fix it, or at least try to fix it. Then the guys come in. Mm, eye candy. Someone puts their male model in heels for some reason. It’s either Josh or Kayne.

Day of the show, finally. Josh says he has a ton of work to do so he will have to become “Helen Keller in ‘Miracle Worker’”. You mean Anne Sullivan, genius. That was the teacher. Ivy is sewing clothes for Casanova. Both Laura and Anthony Ryan comment on it, but Laura is bitchy and at least Anthony Ryan makes a joke. Hot makeup guy Scott. Kayne has paper eyebrows. Actually everyone seems to have crazy hair and makeup. Josh brags that he has evolved.

Guest judges today are Jason Wu and Robert Rodriguez. Josh: the girl is in white walking shorts, and the shirt is white with tuxedo ruffles and black sleeves. The guy has white wide legged pants, a sheer black shirt with horizontal stripes and a sheer black duster. It’s sort of androgynous I guess. They do go together. Uli: girl has a metallic jacket with elbow length sleeves and pointy shoulders, and black leather pants. The guy has matching metallic leggings and a sheer top with feathers or trim on the shoulders. This is two outfits that go together. It is not androgynous. Althea: both models have big maroon jackets with wide collars and matching pants. The guy has almost the same coat on. This is good. Laura: the girl is in black and the guy in gray, both with cut out rectangles. The girl has a leg cut up and the guy’s cutouts are on the vest. The girl has a jacket but it’s pretty fitted and feminine. Boring. Emilio: I think Emilio also put his models in the same outfit. Red fitted vest and maroon pants. It looks like you could swap clothes and they’d look the same. The guy’s vest has a huge stand-up collar, and both vests are backless. They really look the same.

Kayne: I will give Kayne that when I paused my DVR on his two looks it was hard to see which was the man and which was the woman. The girl has a boxy black and white houndstooth jacket, with big shoulders and a black leather ruffle. Also black leather pants. The guy has almost the same jacket and what looks like shorts in the same fabric. The silhouette is very similar. The girl has the bright yellow in a shirt under the jacket. Casanova: the girl looks fierce. Gold leather sleeveless top and pants, with scorpion cutouts. The pants have cutouts too. I can’t tell if they’re capris or have cutout knees. The guy has gold leather pants and a gold sheer shirt with gold leather plackets. It’s not the most masculine of outfits. I love the cutouts though. Ivy: so there is a regular bodice, and then I can’t tell what is going on with the bottoms. At first glance it looks like granny panties, but then I think they’re actually pants, with lighter sheer fabric for the legs. And a sheer duster. The guy has a thicker coat, no shirt, and the same granny panties/sheer thing. Oh, wait, that is the outfit with the crotch pouch. Anthony Ryan: both models have a sheer top with thicker horizontal stripes. The woman has I think print shorts and black leggings. The print is just an abstract black and white print. The guy has leggings in the print, but his top has the mullet hem and goes down to the floor in back.

Althea, Ivy, and Josh are safe. In the Scrap Bin, Josh says something about how they are a design force to be reckoned with, even though they’re safe. Ivy says their egos shouldn’t get in the way (?) and Josh jumps down her throat and accuses her of making the same jacket all the time. Ivy responds that the judges like it, so whatever. Josh then accuses her of not considering anyone else’s feelings, but Ivy is still weirdly insisting on not involving egos. I am not sure what she is talking about, but she’s still pretty calm.

Uli says her “androgyny” is more tribal. Isaac likes the apocalyptic sense of the outfits. They love the guy’s pants. Under the jacket, the girl has a sleeveless top with the metal fringe trim down the front. Georgina likes it but not the leggings, which are really long. I don’t see how this is more androgynous than Althea’s. Laura had trouble with this challenge, and I think everyone knows it. There are too many ideas, cutouts, gold buttons, no one is impressed. Emilio had great attention to detail, and they couldn’t tell who was the man and who was the woman, which was the point. Isaac says something stupid about the hat. Emilio wanted the same fabrics, and he did a great job. Kayne wanted more skin on his male model, and he liked the fabric. Isaac tells him the yellow makes the whole look cheap. It does? OK. Georgina tells him to edit. Casanova talks about armor. They aren’t androgynous. They show the girl’s pants, and they are capris AND the knee has a cutout. And straps. Too busy. The judges seem to agree that they’re nice outfits but don’t fit the challenge at all. Anthony Ryan wanted a more evening look but decided against it. Isaac kisses his ass and says he’s so good every week! Oh, now, that was totally unnecessary. The fabrics are great and it’s wearable.

Emilio used reversible fabric and the outfits looked interchangeable. Uli pushed it and Georgina would wear the girl’s stuff. Anthony Ryan had wonderful taste and the print was excellent. Laura had complementary outfits but they both sucked. Too many things going on. Kayne’s yellow was a poor choice and I think they want him to edit. Casanova had wonderful pieces but they did not fit the challenge at all.

Anthony Ryan is in. Emilio is the winner! Nice, I really liked his outfits. Uli is in. Casanova is in. Laura is in. Aww, Kayne. He gets choked up about being there and he’s proud of what he’s done.

Next time: “going green”, Diane von Furstenberg, everyone freaks out.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Top Chef 11/28/12--"50s Food Flashback" summary



Previously on “Top Chef”: dumplings were made, and immunity was won by Josie. Tom and Emeril lead two teams in making Thanksgiving (probably in the middle of July). Josie undercooked the turkey, and the judges made sure to tell her she’d be going home if she hadn’t won immunity because she made her team lose. Carla made carrot soup and meatballs and won, but not before CJ and Stefan tasted her soup and pissed her off, and then Stefan called her “honey” or something and pissed her off about that. Kuniko was too helpful, doing work for others and not having enough time to cook her potatoes, and she was sent home. I think we may need to add potato gratin to the list of foods that screw people, along with panna cotta and…I’m sure there is something else on the list. (click for more)


Oh and guess what else you guys? Last Chance Kitchen is back! And this time America has a say! Let me just express my opinion: BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO. Having Redemption Island is one thing. Letting “America” vote for people who lose Last Chance Kitchen in order to save them is stupid. I can’t taste their food. I have no idea if they’re a good chef or not. You are introducing a factor purely based on popularity, which the producers can directly influence through editing. STOP TRYING TO BE OTHER SHOWS.

We go back to the Stew Room and the stupid argument that John started with everyone, because he had to be an ass and slam Kuniko. I mean, she’s already gone. It doesn’t kill you to keep your mouth shut. He says CJ is full of shit, which makes him my enemy. Josh jumps in and says John has no tact. John responds with “Aaand, Oklahoma has a lot of tact.” Yes, generally the Midwest contains tact. Then he busts out the “I’m not a prick, I’m just honest” line, which is the line assholes always use to excuse their assholery. Josh switches gears and asks John how many restaurants he’s opened and then had fail, or walked away from, or events he’s ditched. Burn. The argument devolves into “No, YOU don’t know what you’re saying” and everyone rolls their eyes and shuts up.

Back home John walks around while everyone stares at him. He says he’s “reliving” being the most hated chef and he’s pissed because Josh is “being a little bit of a redneck” and CJ is “playing” him. Wow. If everyone always hates you, maybe the problem is you. Stefan gloats about the fight that just happened. You guys, Stefanis talking about how other people are having stupid fights. Seriously. There is a weird conversation between him and Kristen about eyebrows? Anyway, Stefan gives her a foot rub as she interviews about how you have to make your own fun.

Padma greets everyone with Naomi Pomeroy. The Quickfire today is…behind this curtain! Padma tears it down and it’s two whole sides of beef. Hee. Butchering. One hour to do butchering and make something. Winner gets immunity. Naomi wants them to use the beef as a blank canvas. Also there is a rule of no more than two chefs butchering any one piece at the same time. Spoiler: nothing happens with that.

Sheldon goes to town with a giant hacksaw. Josie and Carla struggle with hanging up the side so they can get at it. John talks about oxtail. CJ wants to do tartare so he’s just eating pieces. He says he is not worried about anyone because he is the best chef here. Don’t jinx yourself, CJ. Tyler was on the bottom last time so he’s trying to be creative. Lots of frantic cooking. Stefan claims Carla is loud but she actually seems more quiet than last week. Lizzie is trying to use the pressure cooker but she seems unsure. Micah cuts up his oxtail because it’s not how he wants. John also has oxtail, but he’s just braising more. CJ plates with tweezers and claims he knows his dish is good so screw the judges if they don’t agree. Micah is very cocky.

Eliza: grilled flank steak with cherry cognac reduction, asparagus, and potato cake. Cherry + asparagus = interesting. John: braised oxtail, potato gnocchi with roasted vegetables and celery. It seems to be tender. Boo. John talks about how he did a quick braise and CJ makes faces. That’s what I’d be doing, probably. Josh: beef meatballs with creamy polenta and pickled shallots. Sheldon: kalbi round steak with tomato cardamom broth and fennel salad. Kalbi is Korean BBQ. Brooke: grilled hanger steak with smoked onion, figs, and cauliflower puree. Tyler: Hispanic crudo with charred tomato sauce and cilantro radish slaw. I thought crudo was raw, but he says he “flash grilled” it. Also, his presentation is a ring mold cylinder and a smear. Eh. Kristen: top sirloin tartare with mustard sabayon and carpaccio salad. Micah: oxtail polenta with truffled romanesco cauliflower. Carla: sirloin medallion wrapped in bacon, asiago risotto with marsala sauce. Stefan: braised top round ravioli with marjoram and aged parmesan. CJ: top round tartare, raw juniper and kohlrabi. Chrissy: grilled hanger steak with brown butter, parsley and radish salad. Lizzie: braised foreshank with turnips and dill.

Not successful: Lizzie (meat was tough), Eliza (asparagus and cherries didn’t work), and Tyler (underseasoned). Successful: CJ (exact knife cuts), John (delicious sauce), and Josh (flavors came together). The winner is John, because the universe loves to thwart me in this manner.

Elimination Challenge. Padma says something about traveling back in time. She introduces Mark and Brain Canlis, who are cute boys. Their grandfather opened the restaurant Canlis in 1950. They say it’s the birthplace of “Northwestern” cuisine. The cheftestants will revive the original 1950 menu. Nice. Stefan is glad because there’s no frou frou bullshit in the 50s. Good point. Then he says something about being dirty. The Canlis boys have the original menu, and then they mention the “Canlis’ Special Salad”, and then Padma is all “Winner gets $10,000”. So why mention the salad with no details? That was a weird choppy cut. Also double elimination tomorrow.

Everyone grabs copies of the menu and starts hollering about what dishes they want. Stefan seems to have ended up as secretary. Kristen somehow ends up with side dishes, mushrooms and something else I can’t make out. Danyele says she makes sundaes all the time. Carla has squab which she doesn’t make a lot, and she’s bent out of shape because she doesn’t want it but Stefan told her to do it. Josh and Chrissy discuss how the special salad is possibly the hardest dish because everyone knows it. John is going to expedite, because he has immunity. I think that’s a good idea, because if his dish gets ignored or someone else screws it up, it won’t matter, but I wouldn’t want to have to deal with him ordering everyone around.

In the apartment, I guess the next morning? Josie and Sheldon and some people have a totally spontaneous conversation about Last Chance Kitchen that totally was not prompted by producers. Sigh. Josie I guess didn’t watch last season so they explain it to her. God. It’s bad enough they’re doing this nonsense again. Now I have to sit through poorly scripted exposition about it.

Day of the challenge. John interviews that he knows all about 50’s food from his dad. Kristen says simplicity makes your dishes more difficult because everything has to be perfect. She’s roasting her mushrooms so they don’t get soggy later. The grill is in a little alcove that appears to be entirely lined in copper. Like, all the walls are covered in copper sheets, but only in this one section where the grill is. Maybe it’s an enclosed room? Man, that place must get hot during service. Chrissy ended up with the salad. Josh says there wasn’t a lot of French onion soup in Oklahoma in the 50’s. However his grandparents were probably eating calf fries. That’s testicles. Why are you telling us this?

Carla says the squab has to be grilled, and only Sheldon and Bart are allowed in the little copper grill room because it’s small, I guess, so she can’t cook her own dish. They cut from that right to a shot of Sheldon, Bart, Carla, and CJ, all in the room, and CJ is holding the tongs. I don’t know. She tells them how to cook it. CJ is worried he’s not getting enough char. John hollers about tape so he can get something set up but no one answers him. Hugh and Emeril are both here.

Service starts and John is yelling things. Josh is super irritated. I don’t know enough about restaurant kitchens to know if John is doing things weirdly or not properly or what. Tyler: fresh crab leg cocktail. Lizzie: marinated herring. Josh: French onion soup. John: steamed clams Bordelaise. Chrissy: Canlis’ Special Salad. Brooke: seafood salad a la Louie. Everything looks good, so far. The crab is great. French onion soup is salty and cold, and the crouton is too thick so you can’t cut it with your spoon. Brooke’s salad looks like it came from a magazine back in the day. Naomi says her grandmother cooked the green beans more than that. Chrissy overdressed her salad and everything is soggy including the croutons. Herring is delicious, as is the clams. John is telling everyone to make sure they have plates. Sigh.

John starts yelling entrees, and Carla just starts talking. I can’t tell if she’s trying to ask John questions or if she’s just talking to herself or what, but John is not answering her. Stefan says too many people are talking and they argue. A squab comes back to the kitchen. And then another one. And another one. John seems to blame Carla, even though she’s not actually doing the cooking. She’s not telling the guys on the grill to fix it either, though. Carla looks at the squab and says they’re medium rare, which is how she thinks it should be. Sheldon: fresh Hawaiian mahi mahi with beurre blanc. Carla: whole milk-fed squab with red wine reduction. Micah: mixed vegetables. It’s just…mixed vegetables. Well, it’s 50’s, I guess. Stefan and Kristen: calf’s liver and French fried onions. Bart: double cut New York steak. Josie: gargantuan baked Idaho potato. Hey, I just copy the chyron. CJ: shish kebab with pilaf. Kristen: French mushrooms. Sheldon’s fish is great, although Tom finds part of the blood line. Micah’s vegetables are some underdone and some overdone. Squab is hard to eat, I guess because it’s a whole squab and she didn’t flatten it? It seems to be flavorful but the judges think it’s overcooked. Stefan was authentic and tasty. Kristen’s onions were perfectly cooked. CJ’s lamb was underseasoned and the pilaf is kind of soggy. The steak is sliced wrong. Baked potato is fine, mostly. Kristen’s mushrooms were delicious.

Commercial interlude: Josie calls her potatoes the “Cadillac” of baked potatoes. Everyone says they’re huge. The end. Sigh.

The sherbet is melty. Uh oh. Danyele: vanilla ice cream. Also “Royal Hawaiian Supreme”, which I guess is a sundae of some kind. Eliza made mint sherbet and fresh frozen Hawaiian pineapple parfait. They love the sherbet and the parfait is “fine” but that doesn’t seem to be bad. Danyele did a good job also. They discuss who should go home. Chrissy, Carla, CJ, and Josh are mentioned.

Various people tell Josh his soup looked great but maybe was a little salty. He laughs, so I think maybe he thinks they’re just giving him shit about how it’s not quite good enough to win. Padma calls Lizzie, Kristen, Tyler, and Stefan as the top. Tyler was very traditional and clean. Lizzie’s dish was balanced and the crackers were audacious. Kristen’s side dishes were perfect. Stefan’s liver was perfect and respected the product. The winner is Kristen. Nice. She’s surprised. Even Stefan is happy for her.

Carla, Chrissy, CJ, and Josh go out to face the music. Loser gong! I may have done a fist pump for the Loser gong. Josh’s soup was almost inedible from salt, and Tom’s was cold. Josh freaks out at that, and Hugh asks about expediting and Josh says John was a monkey. Heh. Chrissy’s dressing didn’t taste like lemon and mint, even though she says she put a ton of lemon in there. It was overdressed, and then Hugh says something about naked tomatoes. It’s in the delivery. The squab wasn’t cooked properly. Carla says she checked the last squab, and Tom is shocked that she wouldn’t check throughout service. But she did, everyone was sending them back for being undercooked. I’m not sure about that. I think it’s entirely possible they were fine, but people balked at being served a bird that is not cooked through, so Carla started to overcook them, and then the judges got theirs then. Tom tells her she’s responsible anyway. CJ’s dish was underseasoned and mealy, because he cooked it sous vide before grilling it. What? That’s not 50’s. CJ tried to cover it up by grilling. The marinade didn’t come through either. Tom says these were all technical mistakes. CJ says yeah, he should not have involved sous vide. Josh just says if the soup was cold, it wasn’t his fault. Chrissy didn’t know how the salad should taste, so she just did it how she wanted. Carla, the person who has some kind of argument, actually, just says she’s not going to say anything.

Without much fanfare, Chrissy and Carla are sent home. Aww. Chrissy says sometimes you fail at risks. Carla interviews that it was a game she wasn’t playing. She’s pretty upset. Chrissy shouldn’t have gone home, but she understands. Carla has had a wake-up call.

Not only are we having Last Chance Kitchen, but apparently that shit was Emmy nominated. Because that makes it better.

Next time: Eliza and Josie fight, Tom yells at everyone and is pretty pissed, a whole team is going home.

Alright, Last Chance Kitchen. Jeffrey, Kuniko, Carla, and Chrissy are all getting their second chance. It looks like everyone is sequestered in a nice house, and then Tom shows up to explain everything to them. They all seem to know what Last Chance Kitchen is, so I guess they were watching last season. Tom says they will get the opportunity to redeem themselves. Everyone gets a covered dish, which ends up having the ingredients they screwed up. So Kuniko has potatoes, Carla has squab, etc. Tom says they have to prove to him they know what they’re doing and they’ve overcome their mistakes, but they don’t have to make exactly the same dish. 30 minutes to cook. Chrissy is making the same salad. Kuniko is doing something different, because pave takes forever and she just needs to convince Tom she can cook potatoes. Carla takes forever to bone her squab so she’s complaining about time. She keeps up a running commentary to herself. Chrissy made the same salad, basically, and Tom says it’s much better than last time. Carla: whole squab with baked tomato and morels. It’s rare and Tom has no comments. Kuniko: lemongrass cream potato chowder. It looks good. Jeffrey: pan-roasted halibut with peas and morels. Better than last time. Tom says Carla screwed up her squab again, and she’s mad, but what are you going to do? Everyone else did a good job, but the winner is Kuniko. Nice. She’s ready to go.

Monday, November 26, 2012

TAR21, Recap Leg 9, 11/25/12



Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on You’re Very Lively For a Dead Crowd, teams raced about Moscow.  The Beekmans incurred a penalty for not being able to complete a task, but James and Abba incurred the bigger penalty for losing their passports, and they were eliminated.  Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the Pit Stop last episode:
1st – Jaymes/James, Team Eye Candy 
2nd – Trey/Lexi, Sporty YDC 
3rd – Natalie/Nadiya, Bollywood Twins 
4th – Abbie/Ryan, Sparkly YDC
5th – Josh/Brent, The Fabulous Beekman Boys 

Veranda Tantsev, Sokolniki Park, Moscow, Russia

7:32 PM Jaymes/James (1st)
Clue: Fly to Amsterdam, the Netherlands!  Use the provided flag to determine your destination country.  Once there, travel by rail to Central Station and search for your next clue.

(Toyouke: “A real clue. AND a clue box. Don't think that will make me forget about your shenanigans last week.”)

7:49 PM Trey/Lexi (2nd) – (Toyouke: “How awesome would it be if Trey and Lexi got tickets to Paris? And ran around Paris looking for clue boxes but failed?”)
9:15 PM Natalie/Nadiya (3rd) 
5:28 AM Abbie/Ryan (4th)
8:11 AM Josh/Brent (5th)

It’s important to note that a large number of teams believe they are going to France.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Natalie/Nadiya
4- Abbie/Ryan  
5- Josh/Brent

Once teams arrive, they jostle for flights and position.  The Twinnies, Chippendales and Texas set up a scheme that in case a Double U-Turn were to occur, the first team to arrive would U-Turn Abbie and Ryan and the second team would U-Turn the team that made the first U-Turn, guaranteeing an extra task for Abbie and Ryan.  Best strategic move EVER.   (Toyouke: “Your plan is to waste the U-Turn? That is a stupid plan.”)

So, teams get the following flights:

Flight 1: Alitalia via Rome, arrives 11:30 AM
1) Natalie/Nadiya – who almost don’t make the flight due to a short layover.  (Toyouke: “If you can't book it because the layover is too short, why did you even tell them about it in the first place?”)

Flight 2: Aeroflot direct, arrives 12:15 PM
1) Jaymes/James

Flight 3: Cyprus Air via Larnaca, arrives 1:05 AM
1) Trey/Lexi

Flight 4: KLM via Frankfurt, arrives 2:05 PM
1) Abbie/Ryan – or at least that was the plan.  Abbie and Ryan actually booked two flights, and they arrived too late for their 12:45 PM flight.  Then their second flight was delayed by mechanical.

Flight 5: Aeroflot via Oslo, arrives 4:30 PM
1) Josh/Brent

(Toyouke: “This is the third leg with no bunching? I mean...no bunching where everyone sits around all night to wait for stuff and all teams end up together.”)  AND, after all of these flights, teams arrive in Amsterdam in the following order:

1- Natalie/Nadiya
2- Jaymes/James
3- Trey/Lexi
4- Abbie/Ryan  
5- Josh/Brent – who team up with Abbie and Ryan once again to race.  (Toyouke: “I dislike this "running the leg together" BS.”)

Teams then take the train to Central Station, and teams arrive in the following order:

1- Natalie/Nadiya
2- Jaymes/James
3- Trey/Lexi
4- Abbie/Ryan  
5- Josh/Brent

Natalie and Nadiya open their clue and find. . . a Fast Forward! 

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since they show up rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop.  However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it.  In this, the second fast forward on this race, teams must travel to the Van Gogh Café and find the Floating Dutchman.  Once aboard and travelling through the water, teams have seven minutes to eat five soused herring each.  Once complete, they get their next clue and skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.  If teams are unable to complete in one round, they must return to Van Gogh’s Café and try again.  (Toyouke: “Oh good. I was afraid this Fast Forward was "RIDE A BUS".  Not that the actual Fast Forward is any better, although it does give other teams a chance to actually compete for it.”)

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Natalie/Nadiya
2- Jaymes/James – who show up as the girls finish.

So – bus, canal, herring, Fast Forward for Natalie and Nadiya.  They travel to the PIT STOP at the House of Rembrandt’s Mistress in Ransdorp.

Teams that don’t take the Fast Forward are instructed to travel on foot to Heron Market and find a marked boat to take them to Magere Brug and find the Poffertjesboot, a floating Poffertjes stand to get their next clue.

Teams arrive at the Heron Market in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Abbie/Ryan  
4- Josh/Brent

Teams then arrive at the Poffertjesboot in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Abbie/Ryan  
4- Josh/Brent

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Back in Time OR Organ Grind

*Back in Time: Teams must travel on foot to a nearby church and recreate Rembrandt’s “The Night Watch” using live actors.  Teams dress in costume as characters in the painting as well, and position everyone properly.  Once Rembrandt gives them the ok, teams get their next clue.
*Organ Grind: Teams travel by foot to one of three nearby bridges with giant organs on them.  Teams then play the organ while collecting 30 euro.  Once the money is collected, the organ grinder will give them the next clue.

(Toyouke: “Hmm...the organ grinder is easier...but recreating the painting sounds really cool.”)

CAUTION: DOUBLE U-TURN AHEAD

1- James/James choose Organ Grind
2- Trey/Lexi choose Organ Grind
3- Abbie/Ryan choose Back in Time
4- Josh/Brent choose Back in Time

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Abbie/Ryan  
4- Josh/Brent

Teams are now instructed to travel to the Museum Geelvinck and search the gardens for their next clue.  Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Abbie/Ryan  
4- Josh/Brent

And we have found the U-Turn!

This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to U-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is U-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. This U-Turn is NOT blind.

1- Jaymes/James choose to U-Turn Abbie/Ryan - even though Jaymes is against it.  (Toyouke: “It's a REALITY SHOW. U-Turns are part of the show. Using them does not make you a horrible person any more than blindsiding people on Survivor.”)
2- Trey/Lexi choose to U-Turn Jaymes/James
– per their agreement.  (Toyouke: “WOW. Not that they know it, but Trey and Lexi just saved the Beekmans.”)
3- Abbie/Ryan have been U-Turned 
– (Toyouke: “Ryan had a good idea about U-Turning the Beekmans, so they could stay even. But this "alliance" was so determined to get rid of Abbie and Ryan they made themselves look stupid. Because now everyone knows you did that on purpose, just to screw Abbie and Ryan.”)
4- Josh/Brent cannot U-Turn – Josh: “"We were just going to have you guys U-Turn us, and then we would do the thing together"  (Toyouke: “!?!?!?!?!?!!? Are you fucking serious? What is wrong with you?!  Josh, stop being a dumbass. Go finish the leg.”)

So Abbie and Ryan have to complete the Organ Grind side of the Detour. Once that is all done, they can move on to the next clue.  There is a rather intense discussion between Josh and Brent as to whether they should wait for their friends.  (Toyouke: “I can't believe this is a conversation that is actually happening.”)

Anyway, teams get their clue in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Josh/Brent  
4- Abbie/Ryan – who are upset that Jaymes and James would do such a thing.  (Toyouke: “Shut up Ryan. Everyone would be stupid to let you beat them. Also, why no hatred for Trey and Lexi, who WASTED their U-Turn just to make absolutely sure you were last?”)

Teams are now instructed to travel by bus to Ransdorp (or taxi ,if it is after 6 pm).  Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Abbie/Ryan  
4- Josh/Brent

Teams now get the tenth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to jump back in time and make a last ditch effort?

In this roadblock, roadblockers must participate in the Dutch sport of fierljeppen, which is essentially jumping over a ditch in order to retrive a clue and then jump back to the other side.  Sound familiar?  That’s because this is a Switchback, a task previously performed on the race in the same location.  This one is from TAR12, which really didn’t cause much controversy, aside from Don in his underwear.

(Toyouke: “Oh, did I need a flashback of that old man? No, no I did not. I do love that the Chippendales recognized the Roadblock though.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- James
2- Trey
3- Josh
4- Ryan

After much ditch jumping, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jaymes/James
2- Trey/Lexi
3- Josh/Brent 
4- Abbie/Ryan

Teams now must make their way to the House of Rembrandt’s Mistress, the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld.  The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

Teams get to the Pit Stop in the following order:

1- Natalie/Nadiya – who win $5000 each.
2- Jaymes/James
3- Trey/Lexi
4- Josh/Brent
5- Abbie Ryan

Abbie and Ryan are justly eliminated.  No $2 million prize this year.  Ryan is speechless.  FINALLY.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Natalie/Nadiya 
2nd – Jaymes/James
3rd – Trey/Lexi  
4th – Josh/Brent

Next week: Mallorca, Spain!  Tennis!  Josh hurts his ankle!  Bull fighting!  Lexi hurts her finger!  Until next time!