Project Runway 9/27/12--"It's Fashion Baby" summary

Previously on Project Runway: The designers made costumes for the Rockettes. It was actually a good challenge, I like the extra restrictions on costumes for dancers. Chris won by making a bodice with the New York skyline. It was pretty cool. Ven made an ice dancing costume, that was boring to boot, and went home. His decoy finale collection was full of folded roses. And also? I saw a picture of him and Kenley from the Emmys and the dress she had on had nothing to do with the dress he made her from that challenge that he won. Nothing. Also the next season of All-Stars was announced. Wendy. Pepper. There is the possibility of a Wendy vs. Josh fight to the death. At least, we can hope it’s to the death. I don’t want to deal with Josh anymore but I also cannot resist the thought he might go up against Wendy Pepper and Ivy and Kayne and lose.

           

Melissa and Sonjia are much more serious now that Ven’s gone and there’s only six people left. Elena promises to “claw” her way through and end up in the finals. Chris wants to make a collection “so bad” which would mean more if I didn’t already know he made one.

           

The designers end up at Babies “R” Us, which worries everyone. Dmitry opines that Heidi has “105” kids. Heh. She wants them to make a look for her baby line. What? Why? Babies? What possible use is this? There are actual clients and babies. They actually show the matching, or at least they list all of it, and I don’t know why it matters. I guess boys vs. girls. Elena wants to win. Winner gets his/her outfit sold. Heidi will also be giving them fabrics and notions so they will match her line. Clearly, she has a line. Free labor.

           

Elena is thinking blazer, but fun and playful. Melissa thinks feminine = pink. Fabio reveals that his first job in New York was as a babysitter so he’s all over it. He starts talking about overalls and pockets and a flap in the back. Chris loves his kid, because she has cheetah-print hi-tops. He has the mom go around and pick out things she likes in the store to give him hints. Heidi tells them they have a dossier and a “special” surprise. Elena translates “special” as “fucked up”. Heh. Probably.

           

The workroom has fabrics and little toddler mannequins. And baby dolls. The kind that cry and have sensors so they know when you pick them up. HILARIOUS. I love it. Tim says the dolls are so they know what is involved in clothing for infants. If it’s crying, you should either feed it, rock it gently, or change it. Heh. Fabio already has his baby in one of those carriers that sits in front of you. There is no purpose to this. Children’s clothing designers don’t have babies near them all the time. This is here so we can watch single childless people flail. I’m all for the entertainment though.

           

It sounds like there will be two winners, one boy and one girl. Fabio talks to his baby, as we all expected. I mean, out of the people left, who is going to treat the plastic doll like a real baby and talk to it and stuff? It’s Fabio. Chris is moving his dress form and manages to knock the head off. Melissa is sticking with snaps so the clothes can go on and off easily. Chris thinks he can beat Elena and Melissa, the other two designers with girls. Everyone has to consider that little kids run around and stuff. Elena, to no one’s surprise, is not a fan of the dolls. Melissa claims to have a good baby, which is possible because I think they randomly set how often the baby cries and stuff. The dolls start screaming all at the same time, which irritates everyone pretty much. Chris makes a Judy/Liza reference for extra credit.

           

Tim time! And a special visitor! Actually just Heidi. They edit the sound like all the babies stopped crying when she walked in, but I doubt it. Elena is making a “dressy girly blazer” with no shoulder pads. Heh. Heidi doesn’t want basics, I guess because she wants special things. Fabio has a cool lining, but Heidi wants it visible. It seems cute. I have faith in Fabio, at the moment. Dmitry has black bands as suspenders, sort of, but Heidi is not a fan. She does this every time. She comes in and hates everything. Sonjia has a jacket made out of fleece, and matching pants, which should not match exactly and be boring. Chris’s mother wanted a very exact jacket, denim with ¾ length sleeves, in white. For some reason Heidi doesn’t worry about white clothes on kids, and then she tells him to make a skirt with the appliques. Chris wants to make Heidi happy, as opposed to the client. Melissa has made some pants that Heidi says she already has. Heidi is bored. The leggings are only interesting because of the fabric. You can only make leggings for kids in so many ways. Before they leave, Heidi says there is a twist (SIGH) and now they have to make an outfit for mom too. LAME. I only want to talk about six things, not twelve. They have all day tomorrow to work. The challenge is really about the baby. Mom should look cool, but they will judge on the baby outfit. Also they will have to bring the dolls to Mood. Hee.

           

Everyone goes to bed but the dolls wake them up in the morning. They provided cribs! Ha! Dmitry deadpans “I forgot. I am a father now.” Chris brushes Fabio’s teeth so he can hold his doll. Tim comes in the next day and says he’s taking the dolls to daycare. Everyone cheers as Tim piles all the dolls in a plastic wagon and wheels them away. It is hysterical. Tim and a wagon full of crying plastic dolls. Melissa says’ it’s perfect because she was going to neglect the doll anyway. Hee. Melissa is behind, but she’s made a super cute face out of sequins! Cute! Elena tries to figure out draping, and asks Dmitry. But she can’t just do it, she has to get in a dig at him that she’s asking because he always drapes and stuff.

           

Fittings. Melissa’s baby outfit doesn’t fit quite right. And she has nothing for mom. Chris promises the baby will be super cute but mom hates the outfit. He’s very upset. Mom also hates the print he picked out for her. Chris seems to be saying “oh well” to that. Everyone drags themselves home finally.

           

Chris tells his roommates Dmitry and Fabio not to help Melissa if she needs help. Cold, but you shouldn’t. It’s a competition. Tim comes in and says they have 45 minutes before the clients come in, and then an hour after that for hair and makeup. Melissa is stressing. Fabio thinks she will be her own competition. Chris’s client comes in and says she’s sorry and she worried he was upset yesterday. He wants to move on. Dmitry thinks he can win, but Sonjia is competition. Melissa has to ask her mom to help her sew buttons. Hot makeup guy. Oh, the GLASSES! The glasses increase the hotness. Melissa is still sewing. Fabio is very confident. Dmitry is worried because his baby is tired and won’t “sell” his look. Hee. Tim has to come collect Melissa from the sewing room. She’s relieved it’s over, but upset it sucks so much.

           

Guest judge is Hilary Duff. What. Fine. Fabio: baby has a dark top and pants, with white trim, and a hat. He looks cute. Mom has a sort-of-denim-mottled dress with a slight mullet hem. Melissa: baby has a black vest with a sequin face on the back, and a white shift dress that rides up a lot. Mom has shorts that are horrid and a stupid big vest. It’s not good. Dmitry: baby has a red knee-length jumper with a truck on the front. Like a big pair of overalls. There is a hood that sticks up like a Mohawk and blue sleeves. Mom has a gray pencil skirt and a random top I can’t see very well. Sonjia: a gray suit made of fleece, and a colorful top. Mom has a long gray skirt, possibly also in the fleece, and a black top. I like it. Chris: white jacket and dress with appliques all over it, and mom has a dress in a green busy print. It’s fine. Elena: green pants and a pink top with a black jacket. But she seems to be able to move in it. The baby looks cute. Mom has a black pencil skirt and a gray wrap looking top.

           

Everyone has to stick around for critique. Kors waves at the babies which I find really funny for some reason. Sonjia wanted a twist on a blazer, making it out of fleece. Mom actually has a dress and a denim jacket. The baby looks mostly dressed up but he can move in it, and it goes with mom. This whole time everyone is waving at the kid because he is waving at all of them. Melissa’s jacket/vest is great, but the dress rides up and is too simple. Also for some reason there’s a zipper, which is not good. Mom’s shorts are linen and they look wrinkled. The baby’s dress is cotton, which is “crunchy”. The vest is great though. Also Kors for some reason loves mom’s outfit. Hilary also cuts her some slack that you don’t know some things until you have a kid. Fabio put a pocket on the back of the baby’s vest with some cute print. Kors calls it a modern take on nautical. The baby’s outfit is one piece, actually, which is cute. Heidi thinks mom looks too old, but Nina likes them both. It’s not too cute, but it’s a onesie which is great. Elena has some embroidered flowers on the back and some jeans, and mom wanted something form-fitting. Kors likes the jacket, but he doesn’t see the connection between all the pieces. Heidi agrees. Everyone likes the jacket except Nina, who says it’s not practical. Elena mutters something and Nina is like, that’s my opinion. Mom looks great but it’s not a mom challenge. Dmitry made a hood that when you unzip it, it looks like a cape. That’s cool. Kors doesn’t appreciate the hood. Heidi tells him that’s common and this is a trend. I mean, how is Kors going to know? I think the moms like it, and Kors has to be talked into it. Chris says his outfits are for a special occasion. The white is not practical. Heidi for some reason is OK with an outfit for special occasions. They like the dress, for a party or brunch or something. Kors likes mom’s dress too, because they go together and clearly they would be worn to the same place. If mom complained about anything, they don’t show it.

           

Fabio’s outfit was cute, and nautical without being cliché. They also really like that it was one piece. Sonjia also made something modern, and being separates you could recombine it with other things to make more outfits. Heidi likes Dmitry’s look, because she could see a kid demanding to wear it all the time. It kind of looks like a crayon but maybe that’s not horrible. Chris did a lot of work and it has a wow effect. Elena piled too many pieces on, even though her jacket was great. Not that practical though. Melissa’s dress was too grown up, and rode up too much. Her vest was cute though.

           

Sonjia is a winner! Chris is the other winner. They are both thrilled. Dmitry is in. Fabio is in. Melissa is in. Oo. Elena’s not thrilled, but she is kind of relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with any more challenges. Tim comes to send her to her space, and says “What are we gonna do all day every day without [HAILSTORM OF BLEEPS]” Hee! Elena’s glad she didn’t compromise her vision to please anyone, so she’s content.

           

Next time: final (?) challenge. Avant garde. Some freaking out. And so forth.

Project Runway 9/20/12--"I Get a Kick Out of Fashion" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone was supposed to make their own fabric, with the requirement that it be inspired by their cultural heritage. Ven made another outfit with the rose detail and he got yelled at. Dmitry did not make a dress and he won. Gunnar decided that “cultural heritage” was the same thing as “traumatic experience” and made a print based on his being bullied when he was younger. And I know that was wrong, and I don’t wish bullying on anyone, but I still think that was calculated. He picked that out because he thought it would help him win. Instead he was eliminated. And then Chris made a big deal about how great it was they didn’t hate each other anymore or whatever, because Chris makes everything about himself.

           

Fabio reveals he slept in Gunnar’s bed. Aww. He misses Gunnar’s “energy”. Chris whines about being in the bottom, as does Ven. Ven says they don’t understand where he’s coming from. Ven and Chris move in with the other boys. Sonjia explains to everyone that Elena is the only person who hasn’t won a challenge yet. Elena thinks she will have to think outside the box. Also she has to reduce her stress level. Obviously.

           

No Heidi today, everyone has to go to Radio City Music Hall. As they approach the stage, Tim is up there, standing in front of the Rockettes. Tim gets out of the way so they can perform, which is fun. Then the curtain comes up and there’s Heidi, of course in a different color, but keeping up with the kicking and so forth very admirably. I’m impressed. Heidi tells the designers they’re designing a new costume for the Rockettes, to be worn in a future show. Everyone appears to be excited. The director/choreographer comes out, and Tim tells them she used to choreograph for Bob Fosse, which is awesome. They want a costume that is versatile enough to wear year-round, not just at Christmas. It has to have impact from the cheap seats, be elegant but also modern. There are some sample costumes to look at.

           

Ven talks about making something modern without mentioning folds and roses. Dmitry reminds us he used to be a professional ballroom dancer, which I had forgotten until now, so he’s already got ideas. Elena says she’s made dance costumes before. Mood involves choosing the right fabric and Chris telling us he’s making the New York skyline. OK. Sonjia is worried and uninspired. Ven has to rethink because they don’t have what he wants, as does Elena. She ends up hating what she gets, and then when she checks out she has almost $400 instead of the $250 she is supposed to spend. Oops.

           

Tim tells everyone they have two days for the challenge, and today they will work until 7:30…looks of annoyance…because they are going to go out for dinner “to celebrate our final 7!” I smell a trick. I don’t know what. But I smell a twist. Chris says he’s super excited. Elena has a royal blue that she says is like a high school band uniform. Dmitry points out that she always says she hates her design, so why continue to make things you hate? Melissa has 18 pieces to her pattern, plus hand-beading. Ven and Elena discuss having clean lines and not overembellishing (Ven) vs. being seen from the cheap seats (Elena). Chris has decided to wear a turban and sunglasses. I don’t know. Sonjia appears to have purple feathers that were going to be embellishment, but now maybe she will make the whole skirt out of feathers.

           

Everyone goes out for dinner and drinks a little bit. Sonjia wishes she was working on her outfit instead. Elena apologizes to everyone for being a bitch but mostly to Dmitry. Ven tries to have a personality. I’m sorry, but he is kind of the same all the time. I think Dmitry appreciates the apology. At least he doesn’t seem to think she’s lying. And then in a twist…that’s all that happens. They really let everyone go out to dinner. What is that? Lame.

           

The next day, Chris snobs about how everyone else has crap designs. Sonjia is still making a feather skirt. She’s starting to freak out again. Fabio thinks Melissa is insane to have as many pieces as she has. Elena puts on her costume and dances around, and laughs because she knows she can’t freak out anymore. Sonjia tells Chris his design is awesome and she hates him, you bitch. Hee.

           

Tim time! Sonjia is about to cry. She’s trying to fit a top to the skirt she has. Tim just freaks out with her. She has to do something, anything. Elena has made a drum major outfit. Tim says to figure it out. Dmitry has an outfit that looks like a dance outfit, and some fringe which is cool. There are cutouts. Fabio is having trouble with his sequined fabric, calling it a bitch, and so forth. He was trying to cut strips, but it looks better all one piece, so he tells Tim that it was good that “that bitch was fighting [him]”. Tim says “Yeah, bitchslap that bitch!” HEE. Oh Tim. Chris does have an impressive top, but the fringe on the bottom is way too short. Melissa might not have enough sequins. Tim tries to help her come up with things that will speed up her work. Ven has some kind of shiny mesh, and he had cut some extra for a seam, but on the mannequin it looks like a sheer piece. Like the straps are extra wide, but sheer. Tim tells him to keep that effect because it has more impact. Tim calls them all over and says that they need to have more urgency, and this is a big challenge, with a big prize. Then he tells all of them they’re going back to Mood with another $100. Fabio asks if he can stay behind and work instead because he’s fine with what he has. Tim says that’s cool, and Dmitry and Ven stay too. OK, so usually when they pull this shit it’s because the judges’ favorite is screwed somehow. But I am not sure of what the thought process is here. Unless they really want Elena to win. Elena buys more sparkles. Chris gives Melissa $50 for some reason. Sonjia doesn’t feel any better.

           

Everyone returns and the models come in. Elena’s model loves her old outfit for some reason. Melissa is freaking out. Sonjia is also freaking out, but isn’t giving up. She gets a phone call home, which reenergizes her. Ven thinks his dress is perfect.

           

Melissa still has a ton of work to do the day of the show, and somehow Ven goes over and tells her he’ll sew for her. Really? Why is everyone giving Melissa extra help? Whatever. Chris tears a small hole in a seam under his model’s arm. Tim gives them two hours to finish. Hot makeup guy. He actually talks a lot today. Melissa manages to break the zipper pull. Everyone goes over to help her, but it’s not working. Sonjia has some trouble getting the top on her model but it goes on. Melissa is pinning and sewing her model into the dress. Elena is using the glue.

           

I don’t like Heidi’s dress. Too much fringe. Guest judge is Debra Messing, who I think may have borrowed some of the costuming from “Smash”. Ugh. Dmitry: dark blue shiny fabric in a zig zag. It has a mock turtleneck collar and one sleeve, and then a wide swath across to the other hip, and then a low skirt so one whole shoulder and arm is bare and then the opposite side of her torso is bare. The skirt is short and fringed. It looks just like a ballroom dancing outfit. Melissa: pink with black sequins, and a vertical stand-up piece in the bodice over her boobs. The black is just in random pieces, and the skirt is short but also just short, with no volume. Melissa is just now noticing that the black in the front makes a 1. Ven: slate blue shiny mesh over a matching satin, with a diamond shaped cutout over her stomach. It looks like an ice skating outfit, but the skirt does move well. Elena: very shiny royal blue with a lot of cutouts and white piping in the bodice. The cutouts have sheer lining, I think, and they’re all around her waist and neckline like a giant belt and collar. Right in the middle of her collar is a big triangle of silver. Chris: the top has the New York skyline, which is cool, and some spangles, and then a short silver skirt. It does look really good. Sonjia: short purple skirt made of feathers, with matching shoulders. The top is just iridescent purple sequins with a high neck. Fabio: metallic sequins, in a loose skirt and a v-shape top. There is some illusion netting at the top, so it’s not just the v-neck. There seem to be straps too? The sequins in the skirt are vertical so they look like stripes.

           

Fabio ends up being the only safe person today. Sonjia wanted something different. Heidi doesn’t think this is a showstopper. There are shorts under the skirt, so that answers Heidi’s question about whether they can dance. Nina points out that feathers are fragile and these costumes might fall apart. Kors doesn’t think it’s glam enough. They totally hate the feathers. Dmitry wanted something more athletic. Everyone loves it, it’s different and edgy. Kors knows Dmitry designed it, and the details are perfect. When they show a close-up, you can see the cutouts have illusion netting. Ven thinks his dress will read glamorous from a distance. Heidi thinks it’s nice but she’s bored. It’s just a sparkly dress. Then she asks what he got on their second trip to Mood, and he dooms himself by saying he didn’t go. That might bite him later. Kors doesn’t think it’s sexy enough? I think? Debra likes it, but the hemline is raggedy. Melissa wanted a showstopper, and Heidi does like the colors but the more she looks at it the more she finds wrong with it. Heidi says it’s too short, so you know it’s short. The 1 is driving everyone insane. I think they like the color but that’s it. Chris wanted to celebrate the city. They all think it’s fantastic. It’s done well and everyone falls over themselves telling Chris how great he is. They cut in a bunch of shots of everyone else for some reason, but no one is making interesting faces so I’m not sure what that is for. Elena tries to defend her color choices, but you can tell her heart’s not in it. Plus as they show the close ups, the bodice looks like it doesn’t fit at all. It’s tacky and too busy. Debra says it’s good for the circus. Ouch. They hate on the cheap fabric and the fact that Elena matched everything to the blue. She starts to lose it, and Heidi says she does appreciate that Elena pushed herself. Heidi then tells them all that she wants them to know that the judges don’t take their decision lightly. Huh? What happened? Did someone go out and complain? They don’t just say things like that unless people have been talking.

           

Everyone in the Scrap Bin tells Fabio how much they got ripped on. Dmitry’s design is very modern. Chris’s skyline is a great idea, even though there isn’t as much movement. They mostly like Melissa’s colors, but not the stiffness and short. When Heidi brings up Sonjia Kors says “disco turkey”. The feathers will fall apart. Ven did something different, no folding, but now it’s boring. Kors says “origami rose” and then says that could be Ven’s drag name. Hee. Elena picked an ugly fabric and then overembellished. Heidi asks if a boring dress is worse than a super tacky dress. Or send Sonjia home?

           

Melissa is in. Chris is the winner. He’s pretty thrilled. That was an awesome dress. Dmitry is in. Sonjia is in. Elena is in. She totally loses it. Guess a boring dress was worse than a tacky one. Ven says he can put on an amazing show, but the opportunities aren’t there. What does that mean? Is that your way of saying “no one appreciates my talent”? Tim gives him a ton of praise and Ven says he’s very passionate about design.

           

Next time: design for babies. Those fake dolls that are plastic and cry randomly and have sensors. I love it.

Project Runway 9/13/12--"It's All About Me" summary

Previously on Project Runway: A random team challenge with the added on, pointless task of making crappy arts and crafts to sell. Because they’re out of money? Who knows. Then each team of three had to make two fall looks with at least one outerwear piece. Elena drove her teammates Dmitry and Alicia insane, while Gunnar and Chris were on the same team and at least pretended to like each other. Sonjia won, with a very cute jacket. Seriously, I would buy it. Alicia made some sad pants and was eliminated.

           

Also all the remaining designers showed collections at Fashion Week last week, so you can go find them if you like.

           

Chris says he’s scared about who is going next. Gunnar interviews that apparently he hasn’t done anything more grueling than this. Dmitry doesn’t want to see Elena. Elena admits the feeling is mutual, as if that’s a surprise. The girls make fun of Dmitry only making dresses, while carefully avoiding the fact that Elena makes a lot of coats with huge shoulders.

           

Heidi appears to be wearing a vinyl romper. I don’t know. Heidi tells the designers they have “a long way” to go to get to Fashion Week, which would be more meaningful if we didn’t know EVERY SINGLE PERSON SITTING THERE showed a collection. Can we please stop pretending that doesn’t happen? Seriously? If you’re not going to plan your season properly to avoid decoys, can you at least stop pretending they don’t exist? Gunnar wants to win to buy his mom a boob job. I could not make that up. Everyone will have “their own inspiration” and Chris just doesn’t want clients or teams.

           

Tim is waiting with Mondo. Today is the “Make Your Own Print” challenge. However, instead of just doing whatever, you have to be inspired by your “cultural heritage”. Ha! Have fun with that. Tim makes Mondo tell the story about how Mondo made that print that was pluses because he’s HIV+ and that day was when he told everyone and also basically let the whole country know via the television. Be personal and open but don’t be literal. No national costumes. Your print must be prominent. Tim gives them an hour to make the designs, and they’ll each get an “Ultrabook”, which I guess is a laptop or whatever, that has a “dossier” on their heritage. That is stupid. First of all, when did they get this information out of the designers to go do research? Do they ask everyone what their background is? Do they investigate? Second, if you don’t know, then I think you should have to wing it. Tim promises these dossiers with a “special delivery”, so I smell family members. Maybe that’s how they got the backgrounds for everyone.

           

As I expected, it’s family members. Mostly moms, it looks like, but Fabio’s super cute boyfriend is here, and Ven’s sister (let me mention, not small, so I hope she kicks his ass yes I’m still bitter). The “dossiers” are actually slideshows of childhood pictures which is hilarious. Dmitry has his best friend, who has a video from his dad which is really cool. Fabio has a video too. Aww. Gunnar talks about being bullied, and I guess the producers want us to like him now? I don’t know. Bullying sucks though. Elena’s mom gives her some encouragement. So is this supposed to be “cultural heritage”? Or “personal story”? Because those are not the same. Dmitry is being inspired by traditional ornaments. Sonjia has some tribal stuff. Melissa asks her mom what else is Polish. Ven has flowers, shocker. Chris whines that he hates prints. Melissa has crosses and random lines like blood lines? Gunnar decides to not follow directions and wants to talk about his bullying. He has something with hands and birds. They do all go to Mood, but they’re not supposed to buy a lot. Elena interviews that she’s not usually a bitch and her mom is making her happier.

           

Gunnar says something about equestrian. I think Chris’s print looks like hearts or ladybugs or abstract ladybugs or something. He is also using something personal to his family as opposed to “cultural heritage”. I get that it’s still personal, and I’m sure it will turn out fine, but then don’t use those words in the description. Ven is using his print as embellishment, not in the “expected” way, which is also the “required” way. It has to be central. Sonjia is going Mondo’s way and making wide-legged pants. Dmitry is making separates because he knows he’ll be in trouble if he makes another dress. He does make fun of it in confessional which is funny. Chris wants his fabric before he does anything, because he whines that he can’t make anything without his print. You can’t make anything in muslin? Whatever. Sonjia knows if she makes pants they have to fit perfectly.

           

Tim time! He says their loved ones are back at the apartments making dinner so time to go! This is the one challenge that has to be two days because they have to make the fabrics. Everyone goes back and hangs out some more. It seems like everyone is tired, and talking to loved ones is recharging them. Chris says something weird about how his parents are going to prevent him from being focused. Sonjia wants to stay in this moment.

           

In the morning, everyone’s fabrics are here. Chris likes his fabric but he still doesn’t know what to do with it. Melissa has just red lines on white, no crosses. It’s nice. Fabio has a black background with random scribbly lines in bright pink and blue and white. It just looks random until he tells Chris it’s Fallopian tubes. And a penis. It is genitalia in the process of having sex. Somehow I am not surprised. I mean…there is a person with a super weird abstract print that is about sex. Who else here is that going to be? Chris is seriously lost. He’s just wrapping the fabric around the mannequin and then taking it down and doing it again. Gunnar doesn’t think Chris is pushing himself, because Gunnar has like 15 pieces to his jacket. Ven seems to be making pleated bursts of his print, which then obscures the flower. I mean, it’s all folded up and so you can’t see it’s a flower. He interviews that he wants to make something no one’s seen before, so I guess that means no origami roses on this dress. Sonjia asks Gunnar to explain his print, so he tells her about being bullied. His print is small, so you can’t see it’s hands reaching in towards birds until you get close. Chris marvels that his story is JUST LIKE Gunnar’s! Maybe they’re not so different! Whatever. Melissa is getting dizzy from her print and is worried she won’t do well. Elena’s print is blue with yellow and lavender. Gunnar can’t get his print to match up, with his 15 pattern pieces. He bitches to Sonjia that everything he does looks like a matador and why does he do that? He’s so over it. THEN MAKE SOMETHING ELSE. Chris has now put black netting over his print. I think he may have at least two different looks.

           

Tim time! Elena says where has he been, they need him! Hee. Chris has two looks, and he apparently loves both of them. Tim tells him the one shoulder look is expected so that helps him. Nothing is said about the netting. Sonjia’s pants have to fit perfectly. Dmitry has some cutouts, which is kind of cool, and Tim says to sex it up. Ven shows Tim his fans of printed fabric, and Tim looks horrified and says, “I don’t know what I’m seeing that you’re not seeing, but I look at this, and I’ll be blunt: I see an homage to a menstrual cycle.” HA! Now I can’t unsee it. It looks like cloth that has soaked up blood. I mean, blood isn’t that shade, but still. Tim actually turns to ask the workroom if he’s crazy, and as Elena avoids eye contact Dmitry says that yes, when Tim said that he did see it. Tim hopes no one is offended by his maxi pad embellishments. Hee. Ven says it means a lot to him, but if you’re going to obscure the print you made with your pleating, how much does it mean to you? You know? Ven gets up and walks out of confessional, I guess because he’s so upset, but since the producers haven’t had his redemption arc yet I’m guessing no one cares. Fabio has also put organza over the print, but that seems to go over well. He says he didn’t tell Tim it was “penis and vaginas”. Why not? How funny would that be? Melissa says she has veins and arteries and bloodlines, and Tim finds this print beautiful, but the design is not enough to wow the judges. Elena quickly says her top looks like scrubs, and Tim is happy she said that because it does. There’s a high collar going on too, and Tim makes a Marlo Thomas reference that no one gets. Gunnar doesn’t like the jacket he made, and Tim says it looks like armor. He actually says “it looks like ‘don’t bully me’ suit of armor”. Gunnar has to fix it, because the black in the jacket is too heavy compared to the print.

           

Ven is also changing his design. Model fitting is not exciting. Ven is making…wait for it…a fan effect! Just like always! Sigh. Gunnar feels defeated.

           

That’s it? It’s the day of the show? …OK. Tim gives everyone two hours. Chris thinks he is in trouble, because his dress is boring except for the fabric, which is covered. Well why did you cover it? Hot makeup guy. Tim gives everyone a ten minute warning and brings in their loved ones.

           

You know, I know that after Mondo made that fabric it was so powerful that everyone loved it, but I think that requiring everyone to use their personal story for their print is not a good idea. Why can’t someone just make something pretty? It feels forced, is all. Anyway, Heidi introduces the guest judges, which are Mondo and Anya. Whatever. Sonjia: plain black top and wide legged pants in the print. The print is kind of tribal, but rather than African tribal for some reason it reminds me of Pacific Northwest tribal. They’re good pants, though, for all that they’re basically Mondo’s pants. Elena: short gray skirt and a big short-sleeved jacket in the print. It’s a weird yellow and lavender and blue print. Big exposed zipper up the front with a strip of dark blue, and Elena’s usual boxy shape with big shoulders. And a high collar. It’s OK. I guess. Chris: so his print is supposed to be abstract ladybugs, so it’s red and black with dots and I guess it could be ladybugs. Strapless cocktail dress with a big poof of folded fabric on one side and an exposed zipper in the back that highlights how poorly fitted the back of the dress is. He put organza over the whole thing so the print is muted. Ven: one shouldered top in the print and a white skirt, skirt has a folded rose, top is pleated also, titscrepancy. It looks like he made a white strapless dress and draped the printed fabric across one shoulder. It’s very Ven so I’m bored.

Fabio: sleeveless vest in the print and what look like velvet trousers. Maybe they’re jersey. It’s all in black, and he also put the organza over the print but since his print has a black background, you can barely see it. Melissa: sheath dress with little wings over the shoulders. That sounds like it’s bad, but it’s not. The shoulders are stiff and they stick out a little like little cap sleeves. The print looks cool and abstract. It’s not super exciting but it’s good. Gunnar: jacket in the print, with black piping, black skirt, and knee high boots. The jacket looks cute. It’s all in white now, instead of having a black yoke. Dmitry: black skirt and jacket, with cut outs that I think have sheer fabric in them so the pieces look like floating blocks. The print is in the top, and it’s a geometric red and black print. I like the jacket a lot. The back has cutouts too.

           

Elena and Fabio are safe. Melissa was inspired by bloodlines. The dress fits perfectly and this design is outside her comfort zone but it works. Heidi doesn’t like the shoulders, and when they show that you can see the neckline is a little crooked. Nina thinks it would appeal to a lot of girls, and she likes that Melissa tried something new. Mondo is bored with the styling, as is Anya, but in general they’re positive. Ven talks about being Indian and hibiscus flowers and so forth. Heidi says “Hawaiian Airlines hostess”, and the rose in the skirt doesn’t go with the hibiscus. She actually wonders if anyone’s told him the judges have seen his folding many times. Doesn’t Tim? No one? Ven says this is his second look so he just did something he could do. Nina thinks he doesn’t know what to do with prints. No one likes it, and it looks like three different dresses, and they’ve seen it. Dmitry’s family is artists. Kors says it’s exactly what they were looking for, and he didn’t make a dress so that’s good. Mondo says the jacket is fantastic but it’s a print challenge, and you can’t see the print. Heidi loves it. Nina does point out he should have less styling. I think everyone loves the jacket except Mondo seems to want to grade it down for some reason.

Gunnar talks about his bullying, and I know this makes me sound like a total bitch, but I am sure there was at least a little calculation in his choices today. I’m not saying he wasn’t bullied, or that he deserved to be bullied, or that it didn’t affect him deeply. I just think that he heard “make it personal” and thought this would help him in the competition. At least a little part of him thought of winning and not catharsis. Heidi tells him it’s not cool or edgy or modern. All Kors can see from where he is sitting is a bird print and he thinks the jacket says “baton twirler”. Nina doesn’t get “freedom” from the print, just struggle and sadness. Gunnar agrees (even though he just said it’s a bird escaping the hands) and Heidi says no one wants to buy sad fabric. Gunnar tells them all this is his “heritage”, the most influential part. Anya calls it “non-fashion”. Sonjia wanted something tribal, but her colors are literal. Her pants turned out very well. The back of the top is draped, which is cool. Mondo likes it, naturally. Kors says if it wasn’t perfect, the print could have looked like “Pac Man eating her crotch”. Chris for some reason has a swatch of the fabric with him, to show the judges what it looks like without organza draped over it. Heidi tells him it’s just OK, and that may not be enough anymore. It’s not very exciting, and he covered the print. Kors and Nina know he can do better. Kors says he could have made something more sophisticated.

Melissa had a chic dress with a color, and is stretching herself as a designer. Dmitry also stretched himself, and made a fantastic jacket, but the print is kind of hidden. Looks expensive though. Sonjia’s pants were perfect and the top was great. Chris had a bad print but then at least tried to hide it. It’s not exciting but also not terrible. Kors hates both Ven and Gunnar, but he says Ven at least can polish and finish looks. They are really tired of the flowers though. Kors says they told him, and Heidi seems fixated on the idea that Tim hasn’t told Ven to quit with the flowers. So she actually demands to speak to Tim. Tim shows up and describes the folding and menstrual cycle thing that Ven had before. He says he’s told Ven about the folding before. He says he told Ven he had to do something about the crappy design, and then he says “and I want to share with you my OWN frustration about Ven”, and then he leaves. Did he tell them a bunch of stuff and we can’t listen? That sucks. Gunnar’s pattern might have been more successful, but he couldn’t get past his emotions. The design wasn’t very good either.

Melissa is in. Dmitry is the winner. Sonjia is in, looking pissed. He’s glad to finally win. Chris is in. Gunnar is out. Ven is in, but before he leaves he feels the need to tell the judges he’s going to take his critique and move forward. Whatever. Heidi tells him they enjoyed having him. He’s proud he got this far, and now he’s all OK with it. Chris says he’s glad they don’t hate each other anymore. Gunnar jokes that the world might end. You know, he’s saying how fine he is, but I think maybe in an hour or two he’s going to be pissed. His decoy collection at Fashion Week was borderline offensive. It was all “tribal inspired” so everything is a stereotypical “African” print and the models had facepaint. Gunnar claims it wasn’t about the win but about committing, he gave his best effort and that’s winning. Right.

Next time: Rockettes, costumes, everyone says “bitch”.